That’s infuriating. Your efforts to “be gentle” with the men’s fragile fucking egos really speaks to me. It pisses me off you have to be thinking about that and modulating your own way of being, just because they’re ridiculous pissbabies who can’t deal with a fellow adult human performing her job correctly.

Your body physically reacting is completely normal, and doesn’t mean anything. His actions (not listening to you, not respecting your boundaries, not checking in with you, hurting you without your enthusiastic consent) are what makes this wrong / an assault. Not your reactions. Our bodies have a bunch of hard-coded…

A good omen!

Oh my goshhh I am sooo looking forward to real smiles!! Kenderín is now smiling, at least, and at people, but they are fleeting and semi-random.

I would definitely not be able to sleep on my back like that. And I wouldn’t want to sleep alone if I had the option of giant warm cuddles!

I’m so glad you’re figuring this out for you and your kids, it sounds like you’re doing the best you can, and your kids will love spending that extra time with you. I’ll add another anecdotal point of evidence for you; our house was always messy growing up (not dirty or unhealthy, like you say, just piles of books and…

Oh, gorgeous!

That is waaaaay too early. I’d say you benefitted from all those built-in cuddles. Poor tiny Nico! I’m amused at you still being early to everything. They do say babies show their personality at once!

Oh wow, thank you! I’m so flattered, this is really making me want to find a workshop or something and start writing!

Omg I love it! How did they even know to try that?? And wow you were TINY; Kenderín was over 4.5 kg!!

Thank you, I’m going to look into it! I thought before about writing a collection of essays about my chronic illness, that might be a good storytelling project

Oh my gosh, thank you so much! I’m really happy to have such a lovely crowd of randomers following along with me, it makes this strange, intense, sleepless bubble much less lonely.

If you’re that worried, and he’s not doing anything to fix it, that’s a good indication that you should worry his parents. “I won’t worry them” is for if the two of you are on your way to the ER but it’s probably just stress so we won’t tell them until after he’s been assessed.

HE’S SO TAKEN WITH HER!! And he’s like, typical gruff old man about emotions and shit. But he lights up when he sees her, and he has her photo up in his hospital room.

I’M MAKING ME CRY TOO!! T__T My post kind of got away from me, emotionally. Hormones?? 

Ah that would stress me out so much!! I mean, statistically, it is far more likely to be stress than anything really sinister. But if it was me, I would absolutely get it checked out / want him to get it checked out. That stupid macho bullshit is definitely a part of why men’s life expectancy is lower! Keep suggesting…

I’m sorry I missed this wonderful comment last week, I only caught the notif when I was writing this week’s post and glanced back through!

I am so sorry, I missed this last week and just saw the notif when I went to post in this week’s!

~ Baby thread! ~

The waiting is the absolute worst!! Not to prolong the agony, but I got fairly heavy spotting at implantation. Fingers crossed it’s just enthusiastic implantation bleeding, and you’ll get that positive. Maybe plan to do something nice for yourself if it’s negative? (Sushi dinner with whiskey and horseriding?)