There’s no real amount of planning or sensibleness that will wrangle you onto the property market in Dublin at the moment. The only way my parents could have helped me is if they were very wealthy. You can’t borrow more than 3.5x your income, and you need 10% deposit minimum, but a 3-bed family home in a nice area…

It really seems like if you do that, you have literally no time to do anything for yourself for the first few weeks except maybe quickly eat? I’m excited for some loving gazes while they do their thing, but not all-day-every-day...

Yup. I’m in my late twenties, about to have a baby, finishing my PhD. My partner has a stable but underpaid job. Rent is about half our combined income, the property market is fucking bonkers. I’m hopeful of succeeding at my career, and my partner will get promoted up through his. So we’ll do fine, but it’ll be a long…

It is weird, and it’s normal to feel weird about it! But seriously well done for extricating yourself from an abusive situation. That’s something to be really proud of, and hopefully you’ll be through this weird transition period and totally free of all this bullshit and weirdness very soon! Take care of yourself. 

Yeah I think my parents will retire, but both of them - and especially my da - will replace work with fairly intense hobbies. They do enjoy lazy days off and occasional holidays where they just read books, but they’d both hate that if it was their whole life. I see my mam volunteering and my da getting really into…

That makes a lot of sense. I hope it turns out to be worth sticking around for! And yeah, I have some weird/unhealthy work behaviours I got from my father too. Although not taking holiday is definitely not one of them; my da successfully negotiated an entire extra month off (instead of a raise) so he could travel!

Oh wow, that’s a fast birth! I’m going to try to channel that energy!

Can you mute the chat for the moment, and leave either when you’re pretty sure he’s told them or when you switch phones? 

I also can’t believe it’s so soon although also I feel like I’ve been pregnant for about 3 years and also also I’ve totally lost track of my medium-term memory, everything during the last 3 months or so feels like it was about 2 weeks ago?? So who even knows.

The first-month book sounds adorable! Although I’m not sure I’ll have time even with first baby. But maybe a weekly email or something.

Oh god that is the WORST. It’s not a thing here (Ireland) and I’m so glad. People NEED time off, they need EXTRA time off if they’re giving birth or sick or have a family emergency, but they also just need their normal time off so they don’t burn out. I can’t imagine how uncomfortable it would be to have an…

Companies get away with so much bullshit by setting things up so people feel guilty for taking what they’re entitled to! I’m very glad you’ve got such a good boss and decent time off and proper paid overtime, but it really sounds like they should definitely hire at least one more person. You should be using your…

Ha, don’t worry! It’s pregnancy yoga, the teacher has seen it all, and it’s only down the road from my maternity hospital anyway!

Ah it’s pregnancy-specific yoga, and the yoga teacher and her sisters are all into pregnancy and active and/or gentle birth and stuff. I am now the most pregnant person in the class, but lots of people keep going right up to giving birth, and the teacher is way past being terrified. Or at least I hope she is! She has…

Many blessings upon longform birth control! This shit should never be inflicted on anyone who is’t 100% enthusiastic for it. And thank you!

Oh that’s a good one! I kind of suspect the full name will not be decided for sure in the first day or two, so I think we’ll have the full name reveal at the Welcoming (we’re Unitarian) in a couple of months. But I am definitely going to include the meaning and spelling-and-pronunciation at the Welcoming, good call. 

I’m terrible at long-term rewards so for me, some short-term rewards would definitely help! Like this week or next week kind of idea.

They are super fucked and it is super not going to be your problem. I know it’s much, much easier said than done, but they aren’t paying you to fret about their terrible choices, so try to mentally detach from it if you can? It is so stressful to be in that position and so natural to be frustrated, but you are leaving…

The first few weeks are definitely the worst. I’m sure you’ll feel way better if you stick with it a while longer. If I were you I’d promise myself rewards, even if it’s just, like, a nice bath or a favourite sandwich. Fake the rewards until the inherent rewards become obvious?

Thank you, Maya! (It is VERY uncomfortable and I am definitely looking forward to them arriving too!!) We both need to take care of ourselves this week <3