No don’t leave me here alone. Will you consider taking Alabama refugees?

I’m a stressed and overworked high school teacher. I recently cried in a faculty meeting, then at the board of education for a committee meeting that I’m on, then in front of my class. Just because I’m overwhelmed. Then I thought a kid was cheating and started crying to the kid. Teaching is hard.

Maybe it’s because I’m Southern and have manners but it seems beyond rude to bitch about a gift someone gives you. If you don’t like flowers then imma tell all y’all what to do: shut the fuck up and dump the dude so he can date a nice woman who will appreciate him.

I'm sorry but I think she's adorable and I love her and this. Now murder me in the comments. I never go back and read them anyways.

I can't believe you paid $5,000 for that dog! What kind of mutt is it even supposed to be?!

My husband has a GoPro and that's just how you refer to it. It's one of those products that you call by the company name, like Kleenex. It's a really fun gadget!

"Siri, what is offsides?"