This article is funny. There are some good jokes in it. Jokes about Sting.

Whatever you know about, music isn’t one of those things. I suggest you avoid wiring about it and spare yourself sounding like an idiot.

Hey! The Police are actually good! I don’t care for Sting’s solo stuff, but c’mon! The Police are good.

Jungle Gym Fever

“Perfect symmetry” is redundant. It’s like saying “insufferable ESPN personality.”

“to prevent the impending one-on-one between Diego Costa and Thibaut Courtois”

You named the wrong keeper, though Costa going one-on-one with Courtois wouldn’t surprise me one bit this season

I’d be down with an executive order shutting down all improv classes, capping the number of self-describing improv comedians in America at 25 million, and fining people who say/write improv too much. Whoops.

Oh, c’mon now, Patrick! “Artificial sweeteners have their own set of problems as well, so swapping in diet sodas won’t help very much.“??? The linked article, from Lifehacker’s own nutrition writerBeth Skwarecki, basically says there are NO established/verified problems with non-nutritive sweeteners and that…

LOL AGING AMIRITE
wait. everyone does that.

Is it just me or did Yoko’s tweet make sense?

Was at the Dentist 3-4 years ago:

Not Your Father’s Root Beer has a couple options. The standard in the bottle is 4.9% (or 5.4%?) ABV. They’ve also got a 9.5% ABV and a 19.5% ABV. The place I had the 19.5% was selling it on draft in a 22oz stein. It tasted like root beer flavored whiskey (product of the fermentation process). It’s mighty tasty and at…

Agreed. And can I add regular people like Nicole and Supernumery for posting on nearly EVERY io9 article about (well pretty much anything) with agenda-based stuff that doesn’t belong or pertain?

I know. As a WF alum, losing comes with the territory, but after watching that I just wanted to give up on EVERYTHING

Jordan was such a dick that he’d probably do that to Bill Cartwright, lol.

Odds Von Dabs sounds like some kind of Dutch nobleman

What about the one he had at the end of the first movie?

It’s going to open with Liam Neeson finding out the Keanu stole his pitbull from the vet, and vowing revenge.

“hollow, performative grieving” - well said.