For the guy who likes to dry off with beach towels, look for a bath sheet. Target has them, other places probably do too. It’s the size of a beach towel and is just as comfy and efficient, but without the patterns and stuff that scream “beach towel."

Thanks for joining us, Martin. What’s your opinion on the Mercedes-Benz 190E 2.3-16 Cosworth?

You left out an i. It’s the Galibier. The Galiber is a Dodge Caliber owned by a person with nasal congestion.

How much more Texas could this be? The answer is none. None more Texas.

Yeah, I think most of the parts were made in Korea, but assembled here. Maybe like 20% American parts. Yeah, I also never got why they bothered to badge it as a Chevy instead of a Vauxhall either.

I’m glossing over the rest of the “evidence” presented because a lot of it is, as you said, circumstantial or fallacious. Like them being at his wedding, and stuff like that. All I’m trying to say is that I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the case. We’ll probably never find out one way or another, and I’m not going…

I disagree with the requirement to believe all of the conspiracy theories about the Clintons in order to believe in this one. I see it like this: Hillary Clinton knows that having a wealthy candidate running a conservative, self-funded campaign (H. Ross Perot) split the Republican vote in 1992, and helped Bill win.…

Top 5 improvised lines ever.

Seven-way tie for favorite part is still favorite part.

I’ll admit that “full subscriber” is a little tinfoil hattish. I’ll also admit that most of the evidence is circumstantial, and I’m happy to discuss one way or another. I just wouldn’t put it past either of them. Not like it matters who I vote for, I live in Oklahoma.

I might not have been clear, and if so I apologize. I’m not saying Bernie is an objective dream. I’m saying that Bernie is a dream to the DNC, because the things he wants to do are things that various Democrats have been trying to do bit by bit for years, and he’s wanting to go even farther. So, for that matter, is…

Clinton vs. Trump is only a lock for Clinton in one case: when Trump is running as a Clinton plant. All he has to do is drop out, or form a third party (especially if the RNC tries some funny business with the convention) to split the vote or completely throw it for Hillary. That is, after all, one of the things that…

I think Sanders and Trump are a lot alike in their palatability (palatableness? are these even words?) to their respective parties’ establishments. Both hold quintessential, almost stereotypical views with respect to their parties’ platforms. That being said, I think Bernie is a lot more palatable to the DNC than…

I wouldn’t count Trump out (full disclosure: I voted for Kasich and can’t stand any of the top three in the GOP), I’m a full subscriber to the theory that he’s in this to hand the election to Hillary. His strategy of doing so thus far has been to say as many inane things as he can, with little to no backup, but the…

I won’t cast too many aspersions on Chevy owners (I own a Sonic, it’s been decent but there are better options now), but I will say that most of their lineup is probably only bought because ‘MURICA.

YES. YOU GOT IT. I was hoping someone would pick up on that. Favorite part of Blazing Saddles.

There’s those too. I try not to think about those, though I live in Oklahoma, so they’re ALL OVER THE PLACE.

I wouldn’t say they’re bad, I’d say they’re misleading. They’re targeted at the type of people that are featured in the ads, who think that a leather interior makes a car like a Lexus, or that in-car wi-fi is a desperately needed option, or that a steel bear cage protects better than aluminum. People who don’t do…

Did Lambo hire some Gillette designers or something?

I’ll always star Herbie.