ALOHA: NOW WITH MORE COCAINE!

As someone who doesn’t shampoo often at all, let me try to take this one:

If there is nothing else I believe to be true in the world, I believe Kanye is the sort of man with a signature floral arrangement.

Not even with Bea Arthur’s dick.

Yep, we can agree to disagree. His taste isn’t mine, but I’ll be really interested in seeing what he’s doing in ten years. I think he’s got the same problems a lot of newcomers have, but I’m really interested in his vision.

Let’s be best friends and French braid hair.

I said I respect her hustle. And yeah, if she thinks that shit won’t come back to bite her she’s got another think coming. Her whole shtick doesn’t age well, but I recognize the sheer amount of work it takes to maintain that facade. Same thing with Kris Jenner. I am perfectly willing to believe they’re both horrible,…

Right? Like I can remember seeing Alex Etel in Millions and thinking “that is the most beautiful child I have ever seen” and maybe vaguely thinking he’d be handsome when he got older, but I never looked at a kid and was like “I’m gonna want to hit that someday.” Maybe that’s what she meant and it just came out all…

I know, I tried to edit to put it in scare quotes in case it wasn’t apparent and got kinjaed. You’re obviously right, of course.

and “from the hood” should be in scare quotes, of course.

Yes, that’s it exactly. He’s guileless. Thank you. He’s all-in all the time and I love him for it. Neither he nor Swift make music I particularly seek out but I will always root for Kayne because it is hard out there to try to be a success on your own terms, especially with someone who, as you said, has their heart on…

He’s a Lear and she’s a Lady Macbeth.

I used to write about shoes for a living, and the only ballet flats I’ll ever travel with are Blochs, which make sense since Bloch makes actual ballet slippers. They’re turnshoes, which means they’re made inside out, and it makes for a much more comfortable, flexible shoe than standard manufactured shoes. I’m a big…

I used to write about shoes for a living, and the only ballet flats I’ll ever travel with are Blochs, which make…

I wish I had worn MORE crazy, tacky stuff when I was in my early 20’s instead of rushing headlong into impeccable elegance the first second I could carry it off. She’s young, she’s got a sickening body and it looks like she’s having a hoot, so I say good for her. She’s got the rest of her life to do elegant and…

Oh man, that idea was in response to a comment I made, and then I said I’d shut it down. Eep!

This has Melissa McCarthy vehicle (as it were) written allll over it.

I think that it was so over the top was its saving grace. It became ridiculous and at that point most of us got a well-needed laugh. Besides, it’s a hell of a trump card for bad funeral competitions.

Oh man, I would shut that one down. Beside his grieving widow bringing a date (they now have many guns, a few snakes and one child together) our estranged mother refused to attend because it would be “too hard for her” but she DID send a letter to be read in which she said she first knew true love between a mother and…

Oh, you mean like my brother’s widow who brought his best friend as a date to his funeral?

Of course you’re right, but it also reminded me of The Comment Section for Every Article Ever Written About Intimate Grooming