Well Palin did bring her own MUA when she was on Saturday Night Live, and SNL is famous for having incredible makeup artists. Apparently he even helped Tina Fey make her Palin makeup more accurate.

I am that person. I am 35 and have been proposed to eight times and you're completely right: I am straight up NOT that great. I'm not even so terrible that it loops over to great. The best I can figure out is I am extraordinary in a few extremely rare and specific ways and if you're a guy into those rare and specific…

Professional opinion from someone with no horse in this race but has a background in fashion criticism: His eye is very sophisticated and his approach to fashion is intellectual; much more so than you'd normally get from someone who is relatively new to the game. His design is still young and shaky and thus not great,…

Honestly that wouldn't surprise me at all, like Marc Jacobs doing those trash bag purses for Louis Vuitton as a massive troll of fashion people who would literally buy anything with the right brand name on it. Or Jil Sander doing an actual brown paper bag, and selling it for $300. I mean, it was slightly fancier brown…

Exactly. Voldemort is going to kill her with a snake and then all shall be revealed.

Yeah, but how much did you pay for your wedding?

Best friend who worked in labor and delivery for ages says nipple stimulation is the way to go.

Nah, I feel you. It's a good show for low-impact marathoning because you can sort of watch a few and they're compelling enough to be satisfying without it taking over your life.

They just don't make twinks like they used to.

My mother and her slimy failed jazz drummer husband (who would moo at fat women and whose idea of a compliment was telling me I looked pretty enough for him to ask out) had a VIBRATING WATERBED which they thought was the height of erotic elegance. The damn thing would shake every light fixture in the house. It's been…

Yeah it was so stupidly simple I can't believe I hadn't thought of it before.

#notallfruitpies I actually like fruit pies (AND warm fruit compote AND good fruitcake because I am your Great Aunt Mildred and just wish you'd push that hair out of your eyes and meet someone nice at church) but do not throw the fresh fruit piebabies —banana cream, etc— out with the cooked fruit bathwater. I won a…

You're missing out on vinegar and chess pie. Done properly they're gorgeously light and custardy with a bit of acidity to cut the sweetness. The cornmeal floats to the top and gives a lovely sable-cookie type texture. Of course the trick is to find someone who actually does them properly, otherwise it's just diabetes…

Just came back from Morocco which, for a nation without booze or pork, has its food game incredibly on point. The one downside are these sandwiches with ground camel meat topped with soggy french fries and mayo. I'm down with the occasional piece of camel and I can even get behind aioli-style mayo and fries, but fuck…

Watergate Salad is an abomination, and it's distinctly possibly your wife hates both food and happiness.

Thanks! Her little long-distance bitchslap (we were both estranged from our mother and going to her only son's funeral would've been too emotionally hard *on her*) actually backfired because it was just so ridiculous that his young widow and I started to laugh and it brought a bit of much-needed levity to a terrible,…

Came here for this. Was not disappointed.

No, but I can imagine going to my brother's funeral and my mother saying she first knew the love between mother and child the moment she looked into his eyes.

Someone very close to me struggles with OCD and it has made her life a giant latex-gloved hell that affects 100% of her relationships. She's come up with a pretty good response. The first time she tells someone she's OCD they will invariably pipe up "Oh! Me too!" and then proceed to humblebrag about something or…

So conflicted. On one hand, that's my natural eye color so...gray eyes unite? On the other, they look creepy as fuck on her which makes me worry that I look creepy, too.