Your troll logic is impressive and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I look forward to your upcoming seven-part Dead Letters series.

He’s an innovator and a job creator!! What have you ever built?! You’re probably a pedophile!! He tries to do this amazing wonderful selfless thing and gets no gratitude, he doesn’t have to bless us with his genius!! He’s going to take us to Mars to stop overpopulation!!

I’ve always heard that you should go to the doctor if your cock has a burning discharge.

Oh yes. Pump it into my veins

You’re a hero for actually digging through and reporting on this, I can only imagine how difficult it is reading a 250 page report based on the snippets you’ve highlighted.

Gamers(TM)

Jim Harbaugh is aghast.

First email: “Laura Wagner’s offensive language hurts my feelings.”

Correlation doesn’t necessarily mean causation, but it is jumping up and down with a big sign reading “Look over here!”

Going off this, if you continue the line of the crease up you can get an imaginary post flush with the wall from both angles (marking the tip of the glove as well):

This is why I’m a Red Sox fan. You would never see this sort of behavior at Fenway. *hit by beer thrown by Mikey from Quincy*

It’s crazy that they’ve already secured their best record since 2015.

You’re doing U-M a disservice: 

You can teach a gorilla to hit! You can even train it well enough to have a successful MLB career as Adam Dunn.

That last photo of Davis looks like someone bleached Benedict Cumberbatch then ran him through a dishwasher.

“We became engaged while traveling in the car.” Is it a magical transformation? Do I have to worry about getting into a car with my cousin now because we might “become engaged”? And what if Babar “became engaged” to Andrew instead? Are we asking too much of these primitive and clearly non-European elephants to accept…

That Bob Wilson letter is a fucking masterpiece!

A cheeky finish.

But her emails!