Educate yourself. Read survivor testimonies. Notice how they all feature the same phrases;

I hear you. It’s great that yours wanted you both to be civil. Real understanding of entitlement in evidence right there. I can’t imagine why you declined the opportunity to see pictures of his dinner and which bars he was drinking in on Facebook...What a complete and utter dick.

My rapist sent me a friend request on facebook, and when I declined it, he messaged me saying something along the lines of “I was hoping we could both just move on already and be civil.” I then deleted my facebook and haven’t looked backed.

So my advice is to block that fucker’s number. You don’t owe an explanation,…

That’s the right thing to do here.

This is one of those white guys who’re supposedly “down with the black struggle” (but not black women) too.

One of the best tools you can have in your toolbox is to turn off your inner narrative of what you think of your friend, and actually *listen* when a woman tries to tell you a guy is “being creepy, won’t take ‘no’ for an answer, etc.”

No. That’s FAR from the “best you can do”. For starters, you can also choose to believe women when they DO have the courage to speak up. You can also pass that gem on to other dudes as well.

My “hackles aren’t up” – you can quit with the “angry WOC” trope, ‘cause that’s not even original, and you know I’m going to just roll my eyes when a man of color tries a white woman’s trick.

Dude, you’re doing what the white girls do when they get hysterical - getting defensive and making this ALL ABOUT YOU.

What the other two people who responded to you just said.

She wants you to say you’re going to do better. Start talking, stop pretending to be woke, and we all the walk. Don’t let it just be women calling out the troll she linked.

Making it about what you are supposed to say makes it about you, and makes the solution that point where you say the right thing and get forgiven and feel good about yourself again. Listen. It’s not about you. What you say and do tomorrow matters, but it won’t be the turning point in the history of the world, it’ll…

I’m so sorry that happened to you, and that is really fucked up that she would put someone else at risk when she knew that might happen.

You know what’s really hard to hear about that – it may be easy for YOU.

I had just moved to Chicago and had no friends. I met a woman who lived in my apartment complex was friends with two guys who shared an apartment. One night she invites me to go with her to their apartment (in the same building as my apartment). We were drinking and unbeknownst to me one of the guys kept making my…

Except you’re missing the entire point. In situations with strangers it’s easy to put your guard up and ask for help. The author did just that. Most women are raped/assaulted by men they know and trust when their guard is down. Which is a large reason why do many rapes go unreported.

how are we supposed to talk to y’all about this then

I’m sorry you’ve been through all of that.

I don’t trust men to check men. I trust me to be loud and belligerent if I’m approached or get rapey vibes. My finger has pressed the 9 and the 1, the next move better be his/a right move.

This was brilliant and necessary. We can only hope that it registers with those to whom it applies.