Best of the Seattle Big Four by a wide margin:

Bush as a band consisted of three chords and a rhyming dictionary. The most underrated band of the 90s is Alice in Chains, because as esteemed as they are, they are not esteemed nearly enough.

Want to be cured of your state line butterflies? Just move to Louisiana. To the west is a big swath of shitty east Texas. Go north and have your choice of Arkansas (no jumping from bridges!) or back woods Mississippi, which also borders on the east. Try to escape that and you’ll only end up in fucking Alabama. You…

I see your Tonic and raise you Sponge

“Newton certainly hasn’t looked like himself.”

Does the woman with a bag over her head also have a vape tucked between her breasts?

It takes real dedication to the paper-bag-over-the-head shtick to sport one when the heat index is 102 degrees.

I swear to fucking God if the Steelers go 0-16 with Roethlisburger out and the Dolphins win a game in December that they have no business winning, I’m going to lose my goddamned mind.

hurt, suspended, or in Cleveland

Hold my prune juice, Junior. DOB 1963. Plus Ric Ocasek and Eddie Money died in the last week. Fuck.

My dad says it’s because he’s a quitter and only cares about collecting a paycheck instead of winning.

I know what you said are technically names and words, but just a heads up, none of it makes sense. 

I think it’s worth remembering just how damn good WarGames is; I wrote about it for a friend’s site, thinking it would be a good nostalgia exercise, but it’s still a really right little thriller with some interesting things to say that’s also very, very funny at times. Plus it opens with a creepy missile silo scene…

In undergrad, we had a guy who would attend every game in full football gear - helmet, pads, custom jersey, etc. If he couldn’t make the trip for an away game, he’d show up to the campus bar in full regalia. Never played on the team; just a TRU FAN.

They play in a division with 3 incompetently-run franchises. They feast every fucking year.

Tom Brady will suffer a season-ending Achilles injury and the Patriots will sign Andrew Luck.

And the only thing that can prevent another Patriots Super Bowl victory? This man:

I don’t think I’ve ever laughed outloud more reading an article in my entire life than I did this one. Many thanks