Another man blaming his shortcomings on a woman, even from nearly a decade ago. How quaint.

“ and seemed to describe Africa as a country”

How would you ‘hack’ your life if you didn’t understand the fundamental aspects of living in America? (assuming you are in the US)

What a spotty little tummy!

❤❤❤

Those EARS!

Easter Monday is one of my favorite days of the year because all the Reese’s Eggs are half-price!!

Wow, it’s like the lost Gospel of Reesus Christ.

When you realize Omarosa found someone who is OK with being married to her, but you haven’t made it past a first date in almost 3 years.

I’m a girl with feet that consistently burst men’s 4E new balance. That is, when I can obtain men’s 4E shoes in a short enough size... Which is rare.

Jeez. I feel bad for your husband’s stepmother. My advice is to try and be a little kinder.

Yes! My parents used to look at me like, “Good luck with that, chap.” And then I crushed it. TBH I don’t know if I’ve read a longer book since though.

It really is waaaaay out of character for a King novel. The book and the movie are both soul crushingly sad. “Don’t put me in the dark, I’s afraid of the dark.” I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING

These posts are getting old. “Man parks collection of fire trucks in front of house” “man parks airplane in driveway”. Can we stop defending these people? They are any eyesore, and they make the neighborhood look like a circus, which hurts house prices. What’s so wrong with neighbors trying to maintain their house…

Remember when we used to say we were embarrassed that George W Bush was our President....?

“Sentient Breadstick” was my old stripper name.

I thought it was really relaxing? Am I weird for that? My heart swelled when they cut to the sunset, thought that was neat.

Picked that up when “things that are hard” included “approaching women respectfully”. I’m still laughing at the idea of someone tripping over a bar set so damn low.