Chris Kattan broke his neck 20 years ago and apparently gets super cagey if you ask him how it happened.

Val, never tweet.

And funny! The man could land a joke with the best of them.

He had one that said something along the lines of “Just when you thought 2017 couldn’t get worse. I’m releasing a new album in March.”

My take on it is, go ahead and blame the Dems dude! Then they can all run tv ads in 2018 with a nice soundbite from the president, reminding people that they’re responsible for killing an incredibly unpopular bill that would skyrocket healthcare costs and leave millions more without care than there were before the…

“We couldn’t get one Democratic vote and we were a little bit shy, very little, but it was still a little bit shy, so we pulled it,”

The level of incompetence is beyond mind-blowing.

I love that Obama’s legacy was that he made R’s so fucking crazy they ate themselves when they finally got power

Eleventeen. He got exactly eleventeen electoral health votes here. Sadly he needed numpty-three votes, so he was a few short.

When it was “drawing me” I was fully expecting it to turn into some character from The Ring, show me the picture it had drawn of my actual self, and then climb out of my phone to eat my face right there in the cafe where I was having breakfast...

Tfw you know you gave blow jobs to the right people

As I was making my way from work to the Amtrak station to exit the city during the holidays, I saw Huma with her son underground at Union Square. I was still devastated from the election results, and was so heartened and inspired to see her out there, taking the subway, living her life, wearing that kick-ass lipstick,…

To give you a sense of how much Republican lawmakers care about women, take this vignette from Senator Pat Roberts today. When asked by a TPM reporter if he supported repealing Obamacare, Roberts sarcastically responded, “I wouldn’t want to lose my mammograms.”

That is their daddy and they fucking dare you to make a move.

Time to share my doggy friend Durango.

“Stars, they’re just like us! Except they have jobs. Clean out your desks.”

Is there a way to live-redact what he says, with like a foghorn or something?

This person has trauma related to her experiences and this is how it manifests. I’m so sorry you find women looking out for other women “creepy.” You can easily tell if the person you try to converse with is interested or not. It’s not fucking rocket science.

It’s a tough thing to balance but you realize not every single person going about their lives wants to be approached? I try not to be rude but I have been called bitch and the reason men are afraid to hit on women etc. I have been rescued by eavesdropping couples who knew I was not into a guy and on a separate…

Though, given how much faster technology is, now, and given that the FBI director revealed they’ve been looking at this since at least July 2016, I don’t expect this to take as long as Watergate did.