Tom is that good-looking guy that you can’t believe is single. And halfway through the first date you realize that there are many valid reasons that no one wants to date him.

Megyn Kelly sounds like the voice of reason whenever it suits her. Before her beef with Trump she was on Fox spewing elitist, racist garbage on the regular just like any run-of-the-mill blonde anchor. She capitalized on her newfound visibility and only seems okay because the people she’s being compared to are the scum…

I am a public school teacher. I am sitting at my desk, which is in a classroom in a public school full of minorities and SpEd students, and I am weeping. I have about 9 minutes left on my lunch break, and I don’t know that I can pull it together in time. I am crushed, absolutely gutted. I am afraid for my students, I…

I notice this law was introduced by a woman. Is there a sex/gender equivalent of the racial term ‘uncle Tom’? I’ve heard of ‘cool girls’ but that doesn’t seem strong enough. I’d like to call them ‘kellyannes’.

BUT SHE WANTED CHILDREN TO EAT BETTER AND GET MORE EXERCISE! What kind of monster wants THAT?

And hot off the presses from Chelsea’s account. Try to watch this without performing a lobotomy on yourself:

Ok, but let’s talk about the important part, which is DEV PATEL IS SO FINE. I went and saw lion, and I was crying for most of it, but then DEV PATEL ladies and gentelman. DEV fucking PATEL with this bass in his voice, and his body right, and his hair right. I couldn’t. It was the most complicated array of emotions,…

It’s been awhile since we’ve watched video of Hillary Clinton talking into the camera with her trademark calm, robotic cheer, and I didn’t realize how much I missed it until now.

He makes Dubya look like a fucking Rhodes scholar. This is the same Dubya who didn’t know how to put on his rain poncho at the inauguration.

His supporters still think trickle down economics is brilliant. They’ll cheer on this change. Because of the billionaires just get richer, maybe one day I’ll make some money too! And let’s not forget they’re JOB CREATORS. even though most of them don’t believe in minimum wage period. Maybe jobs will come back but…

Isn’t gaslighting kind of dependent on the subject being invested the reality of the situation? Because i’m not sure the public gives one flying fuck about Johnny Depp right now.

#winforever

Knives out motherfuckers.

President Bannon Trump is moving incredibly quickly and I can’t help but remember when Jill Stein had the nerve to say that Trump wasn’t as dangerous as Clinton because he wouldn’t be effective in his dangerous agenda.

Once one of mine was on her back next to me in bed and I reach over for a belly rub. I got worried when I felt a lump and kept messing with it thinking she had some growth. Nah it was my boy dog and I was stroking his little wiener. For a solid few minutes.

She made $3 million for 48 seconds. Honestly, I’d let most people beat me up for less than a minute for that much money...but I also have very hefty student loans.