Oh man, I finally saw Split a couple months ago, and holeeeee shit. People gave Shyamalan a lot of shit for all his years of being wedded to twist endings, but Split really made me feel bad about what we could have had.

The only photos of Michelle we have rights to are of her alongside Patton. So it was either a close, awkward crop, or something resembling the one I used, which I think is actually sort of sweet—especially because he has continued her work.

I assumed he was dead or had been rotting in jail in a different state for decades. The idea he’s not only alive, but a former cop, and was apparently in California this whole time is ... wow.

This weekend, I fell down the rabbit hole of the Love Never Dies Wikipedia page. Boy, that musical makes absolutely no sense. Critics abhorred it and nicknamed it Paint Never Dries, which really tickles me.

And technically, bullshit is stool.

What am I supposed to sit upon at my breakfast bar then?? This is a real question, my new apartment has one of those boob-height tiered countertop peninsulas and I want some way to sit at it so I can drink coffee and glower at my roommate in the morning.

I strongly fucking agree, thank you.

I’m a 42 and have never been to a Disney park and want to go. I don’t have kids, and it’s not really a place you can go on your own. However, I’m not one of those Disney-obsessed adults. I haven’t seen an animated Disney movie in theatres since high school. The only Disney movies I own are Mary Poppins and the Parent…

I live ten minutes from Disneyland, have an Annual Pass, and go several times a month. I enjoy it. Good place to walk around, people watch, eat, enjoy the rides and new renovations/additions, all that shit. It’s a theme park! The most famous theme park in the world! It’s fun.

That doesn’t even look like Gwen Stefani. More like Ivanka T.

I love this website because there are people smarter than me who can articulate my thoughts in to actual words.

So, I like Disney well enough, I’m looking forward to taking my kids someday.

Kylie Jenner brought out a hot pink wig and ‘grammed it with the Mean Girls quote: “I’m not a regular mom I’m a cool mom.”

I’m starting to think Trump wasn’t in fact colluding with Russia, but every other member of his organization was and Trump’s too stupid to realize it.

Is there any reason to believe that wasn’t the plan to begin with?

I don’t understand why so many people are giving this movie a hard time. I know the behind-the-scenes issues cast a bit of a shadow over the project and I agree the film is probably unnecessary but it looks like fun to me. There was enough talent involved in this film to make me optimistic that it will be an…

Option C: Ajit Pai!

Ted Cruz is one of our most loathsome politicians, I hope Beto O’Rourke sends him into retirement.

It’s a southern WASP thing, too. Glad I dodged it, though.

I can barely watch ‘Sixteen Candles’ anymore because of the drunk girlfriend scene. My love of Jake Ryan has taken a bit of a hit, too. And I feel guilty for laughing when the grandpa describes what Long Duck Dong (um...) was wearing when he disappeared and then says “no, he’s not retarded”. But, this movie holds a…