Dear Republicans,

I remember reading one of the Alice books (man, I haven't thought about those books in years...) and she learns she has "two holes down there", and I remember thinking, well either Alice is weird or I am, because I only have one hole down there...took me another 8 years easily before I figured it out.

I seem to recall we started getting the basics pretty early at my school. Of course, it was a Lutheran school, so it was pretty sanitized in the beginning (although it did cover birth control, so points to them). The textbooks were from the 70s (I was educated in the 90s) so the illustrations were hysterical.

I cannot recommend Nikita enough. Like, if I could shout it from a mountain top, and that would actually make people watch it, then I would haul my ass up there and do it. It's not perfect (I don't think any show on TV is), but it's female driven and wonderful and twisty and MORE PEOPLE NEED TO BE WATCHING THIS…

Yay! Not just me. The plot is ridiculous and full of holes, but the cast is having so much fun I don't care (same with YaYa Sisterhood, for the record).

I never said free. You should read the fine print.

This just makes me want to bake. I've been meaning to experiment with a new cherry almond cupcake recipe I found, and then practice my decorating skills. Of course, that would require me to clean my damn kitchen first (I have about 2 square feet of counter space total...I pretty much have to put things into storage…

Rick Santorum has also compared Obama's presidency to Pearl Harbor. Clearly, he's a man of high thinkin' power.

I raise my tub of Ben & Jerry's Creme Brulee that I am eating right now, to you.

Nope! I haven't even gotten around to looking up gyno's in my city. Like I said, I'm two years past when they recommend getting your first pap smear, but I just haven't felt it's the most urgent thing on my list (I'm too busy dealing with a failing thyroid and, very recently, urinary issues that may require me to…

I made the mistake of leaving the safety of my regular twitter feed in order to look at the Troy Davis tag. So I got to see both protesters and people celebrating. I happened to spy Ann Coulter's response, which was something like "Troy Davis to be executed - cop killer lovers whine about it".

I've been thinking about this too.

Every time I refreshed my web page, waiting to hear word on how the SC would rule, I felt nauseous. When the denial was handed down, I had maybe a minute where I felt shocked and saddened. Then I realized that I never, really, expected anything different. This is the society we live in. I hope like hell we can…

I both want another Ghostbusters movie and I don't at the same time. Like, it could be hilarious? They've had enough time to come up with a good story. And yet...it could be really awful? But I think I want it anyway, because even if it's awful, I want to see those actors on screen together again.

I grew up Lutheran, and while we weren't actively taught to be ashamed of our down there parts, it wasn't something that we talked about. So even as I get older, wiser, more comfortable with myself, and more aware of my sexuality, dealing with my vagina is something I have a hard time doing if anyone other than…

Stories like this make me so sad and angry. I knew so many people growing up who were homophobic, and they always say it's a 'morality' issue. Really? Well, here you go. Here's the results of your fucking morality.

I always have such indecision when I found out someone I used to like is on twitter. Will they be interesting and/or funny? Or will my memories be tarnished?

I grew up in a small town in middle America. Newsflash, people have been doing this long before the internet. It's just faster now.

The typos in this article are killing me *stuck proofreading for a living right now*

John Bender does not approve of this type of hot beef injection.