Yes. She got a friggin pug puppy. And a huge ring. Lucky. She was coming from getting her hair done and he thought she would be all done up. She still looked gorgeous with her Louis. Thanks!

So this Paul Newman quote probably sums up love and marriage?

As someone who has counseled a number adolescent boys about exactly this, I'm really happy this was done. Porn has done a lot of young men a significant disservice in this department.

Every woman who goes on this show should study Emily Maynard on Brad's season. She clearly felt the same way Britt did, but she used it to subtly manipulate Brad into feeling guilty about spending time with the other women. It worked so well that Brad violated one of the show's (unspoken, except after the fact)…

the only Cinderella for me:

I hope that poor boy was okay after his parents insisted on him eating that food even though it had gluten in it.

I was once in a "fancy" Chinese restaurant in Chicago for my birthday and they had just waxed the floors. EVERYONE was falling down. Servers, customers, everyone. It was bizarre and hilarious. The management was losing their minds over how many meals they were comping. I wiped out before I even got to my table. My…

Some of my favorite college times were when my friends and I crawled out of whatever darkened pit we woke up in to share stories about our night before and fill in the holes of each other's black out.

Ha ha ha NO ONE because we eloped! We didn't even decide to get married until a about two months before we were set to leave on an already planned island getaway.

Relax. Have fun. Eat first. Please don't forget to eat.

No one.

Her contouring kit is only $40? Shit, I may have to try that. I've been wanting to try a glam contoured look, and if there's one thing I would trust Kim's advice on, it's this.

So it's "She's All That" with a better actress as the protagonist.

I can think of all kinds of women who wouldn't deserve my television boyfriend, but Miss Stefani G. is not one of them. She rocks in all kinds of interesting ways, and I'm happy for them both. Also, I didn't figure him for the giant, sweetie-pie ring he gave her, and for some reason that's even more delighting.

So very, very beige, but sometimes one decent human finding another decent human is reason enough to be happy. It's a nice pairing. I hope they make many small blonde people together and live happily ever after.

Actually, the never-ending string of 20 year-old models whom my middle-aged son keeps bringing home would probably worry me more than a grown woman who has been extremely successful in her career.

Too soon for a Karcrashians joke?

Kristen Stewart winning a César award is actually a pretty huge deal. She is the first American actress to ever win it, and the first to even be nominated for it in 33 years. The most recent nomination received by an American was Adrian Brody in 2002. It's an incredible achievement.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR CAREER OBJECTIVES EITHER. Stop wasting space on career objectives. Everybody has the same career objective: to find a better job than the last one.

Nope. When I was a hiring manager — and I'm an editor, so I was looking for copyeditors. Reviewing those is brutal. I get out a red pen and start circling typos. I wouldn't expect a perfect resume for any other position, but if you are looking for a copyeditor job, by god, you'd better had proofread that fucker. Three…