“On this episode of, When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong, rapscallions Conor and Dana... ah fuck it.”

Hell, for most of my marriage my towel was still my wife

For most of high school, my “wife” was also a towel.

The only real union thugs in America are the cops.

I would love to know the odds of a case being dropped when a police chief gives a press conference on the charges vs when the chief doesn’t. It has to be at least an order of magnitude higher.

I’m saying all that other stuff. 

Indeed and I think it’s the rare example of “telling” working as well as “showing.” Cause our impression is “this guy is a fucked up liar telling fucked up lies” which is perfect for the character. 

Stop feeding hope to Raptors fans, just stop.

“You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? I did, a long time ago, before I got this arthritis in my knees.”

Instead of giving him a T he should give him a very demonstrative Z.

I haven’t seen all of his technicals, but Durant earned these two. I get that refs will usually let you give players some leeway after the first T, but I don’t see why they should have to. Even Kerr had a hard time pretending he was made about the second T. History is probably starting to play into this. I’m sure…

“No story is ever allowed to end. No character is ever allowed to be retired. Studios just bring them back and drop them into whatever recycled trope they didn’t use last, because they know it’ll sell anyway.”

Add that to the list of my Home Alone 2 predictions that didn’t pan out.

With Toronto in six!

They won’t be happy until they’re allowed to call their own fouls in a game. A series against Harden and the Rockets could easier take a month to complete due to the amount of stoppage for free throws.

If my name was Zach Zorba, I’d try to find a way to integrate the Zorro sword swipe into my officiating gestures.

At a certain point, the league actually has to reign this in, don’t they? Actual suspensions for this? Because the Warriors really think they have the moral high ground here, and don’t seem to see any internal problem. It’s just a matter of time until one of them Nick Van Exels a ref into the scorers table.

Very Bobby Boucher.

My favorite thing about this whining from Durant and Kyrie, specifically, is that both of them are launching movies and shows and web series and then complain about too much attention. It’s fucking bizarre.

Durant has become the weirdest, most bitter star in the NBA. What does he have to be so mad about?