tl,dr version: dogs are awesome. Here is a picture of my corgis with a Newfie puppy.

We got our two most recent additions (Barking Moonbat and Howling Wingnut, nicknamed Marti and Winni respectively; Marti’s the brown one) nine years ago. A day or so after bringing them home, on a Sunday, we came home from church, parked in the garage, opened the door leading into the house — and found Marti there…

My mastiffs are very different. The small 100 pounder loves me so much she cries a bit when I come home. She loves to put her paws on my shoulders and give me kisses. She also enjoys hugs when I bend down and wrap my arms around her. She would never think of leaving the yard without me, when it was only her I didn’t…

Munchie likes my nose, for some reason.

My mother (who very recently moved in with me) has told me that, about the time I am due home from work, my cats start to congregate in the living room. When I come through the door they come up to me, get petted and talked to, and they go back to whatever mysterious cat business keeps them occupied.

I adore dogs, but I recently got my first cat (I have a long commute and it wouldn’t be fair to a dog).

Nope. It has nothing to do with their status here or their country of origin. It would be the criminal activities. Jesus. Really? You’re trying to find racism in saying someone committing a criminal act should be punished? No. That demeans real claims of racist behavior. STAWP.

I don’t care how much loneliness they suffer. They are monsters for doing that. They need to be sent home, never to return to the States.

And if I’m not ungreyed after I photoshopped an ibex for you people I just give the fuck up.

He hates her, yes? Every time she is styled by him she looks ridiculous.

My dad’s been like “well YOU didn’t call either”. What the everloving fuck. You’re the parent and you went away.

I’m basing my support for them on the fact that he says they could have called him. Therein lies the hallmark of every narcissist father. If you’re the parent, you’re the one who picks up the phone, you’re the one who visits, you’re the one who is there.

Here’s the thing about being the child of a parent who abandons you, and then subsequently the child of a loving stepparent: IT’S NOT THE KID’S FAULT THAT YOU LEFT AND SOMEONE ELSE WANTED TO LOVE THEM. My own mother is super bitter about the acknowledgment my stepmother gets on Mother’s Day, but you know what? If you…

I kind of like that it is sexy.

but I get to see a baby tushie!

When a man posts revenge porn, does he really think he’s making the woman look bad? Nothing advertises “I’M A FUCKING SCUMBAG DON’T TRUST ME” more than revenge porn.

Step 1: Cut off half my hair and dyed it bright purple at the suggestion of the cute boy in physics with whom I was now free to make out at will (a delightful fact I promptly took non-monogamous advantage of).
Step 2: Put on 20 pounds of muscle doing gymnastics and ballet, earning an ass that got me proposed to weekly…

The asshole cheated and then broke up with me before I could dump him. And I was very angry so I called him a few weeks later and said I was pregnant. I let him stew for a week and then told him I needed $500 for an abortion. He paid and I took my best friend on a road trip and had the best damn time EVER

When I found out my long term boyfriend had a new girlfriend, while we were still living together, I walked to the nearest travel agent and booked a flight to Europe, got an express passport and then quit my job. I was outta there in under two weeks.