Woman here.

I have had it with these mutha fuckin naps in these mutha fuckin towers.

I mean, we're already $13 trillion in debt, what's another few bucks for these guys to be able to take naps?

Oh please, if the people around me are distracted because I'm reading an article on my laptop, they have bigger issues to worry about.

Awesome. Sometimes professors need to get off their high horses, too.

I think it's Georgia where you only need a 20 on the ACT to get a full ride from the state. So imagine how low their admission standards are for kids who have to pay.

I never understood why professors care if you're doing something else in class, as long as you're not making a disturbance. This isn't 3rd grade, it's college. If I want to pay $3,000 for your class to sit on Gawker the whole time cause I get As on all the tests anyway, then that's my prerogative.

Ah OK. I imagined it as being two vaginas stemming from one uterus. Either way, bizarre.

At work.

How could her two periods not be simultaneous? Does she have 2 uterii to go with those vaginas?

I've taken a cab from Lower Manhattan so SI twice and didn't have a problem either time. They weren't happy about it, but they did it without putting up a fight. I mean, it is a freaking $60 fare.

I didn't think it was possible to feel embarrassed as a Yankees fan. Michael LaPayower changed that.

Why would you tell a 3-year-old his favorite player's been traded when he hasn't actually been traded?

@balebusta: Mogli, is that you?

So that means he's single now, right?

According to Tucker Max, his penis would be in serious pain if he had sex with a girl while she had a tampon in.

Girls who send nude photos are D-U-M-B.

What is a "home phone?"

A British Monopoly board?