Conspiracy theory: she knows there is no santa now, and she knows there are trukp kids. She’s just pretending not to know who they are to fuck with them.

They named her Collman.

I don’t know if it’s true that one fifth of the world’s population is a direct descendant of Genghis Khan, but 800 years from now, every person on the planet will be a descendant of the Kardashians

Seems like a really shitty reminder that unless you’re a mom, you don’t matter. Sorry, Kendall!

You have my memories. Feel like you wrote this for me. Laverne dying is a difficult blow.

Meh, they’re trying to get an education on how to be an “Instagram Influencer.” $500 seems cheap as a “you are a bad person” tax.

The only people worse than “Instagram influencers” are people who voluntarily give Instagram influencers money, so that they too might become Instagram influencers.

None of them deserves a refund.

I need proof that there actually is a tree under all that stuff. 

I’m not a christian, but I agree with Jesus’ original values of helping the poor and rejected of society. This D-bag could have done more in the name of his religion if he just stayed in the US and volunteered to help the homeless here. Christians have moved away from helping the poor to proselytizing to the poor.…

Facebook: “George Soros called us a menace to society, so we set out to prove him right!”

I think the thing people are taking issue with is being a famous person with thousands of followers, and being like, “Who’s this asshole, am I right America?” about someone who is clearly less famous than you are, and in a public forum where that person could read it. I just found it sort of tacky.

There was a six month period of my life where about 85-90% of my emails started with “per my previous email” and I wanted to kill everyone I came in contact with. It took everything in my body not to just say, “I told you this would happen you fucking idiots.” or “Pay attention. I don’t write this shit for my health.”

I usually attach the email and write “see below”

Real talk, Neil is a fucking asshole. I know folks who went to elementary school with him and they said even then before Doogie Howser he was a fucking spoiled brat. Nice to know he’s consistent.

He knew, too—let him take the questions and have to answer them. How do you like living it again, Hillary? ...and Chelsea? Remember the blue dress!!

As a flailing, one-foot-in/one-foot-out member of the evangelical world, I can confirm that the majority of father/daughter dances are centered around the idea of preserving sexual “purity” and promising dad (ew) that you will remain a virgin until you marry (again, fucking ew - why does dad have to be so involved…

It was never about actual morality, but about power and control. They simply want to ‘seize the means of production’ - the most fundamental means of production that exists

***Nobody in the history of being full of shit has been more full of shit than those people.***

All you need to know about purity rings you can learn from serial adulterer and all around sin-sational guy Donald Trump, and his comically high approval rating with the morally “superior” Talibangelicals.