Boy.

It's really a shame how disastrous these rapes can be for the rapists. Rambold, the Steubenville guys, the Michigan football player — it practically ruins their lives.

Maybe it would be better if they didn't, you know, rape people.

Repeat after me: Adults ALWAYS have the responsibility not to sexually exploit children, no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT. What is so difficult about that?

The first time I Skyped with my son he was three and he was like "mama...how did daddy put you in the computer?" MAGIC

Tried and true methods. This is how we've been producing thousands of knocked up teen moms since the dawn of time; why stop now?

The best commentary was from black twitter and black tumblr.

Well Laura, you just lost your invitation to mug brownie monday. This week wasn't even gonna end in tears...I swear!

DAD TOOK OFF WHEN YOU WERE FOUR YEARS OLD
THERE WAS A GOOD MAN NAMED PAUL REVERE

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK HAD A BUNCH OF HITS

BILLY SHAKESPEARE WROTE A WHOLE BUNCH OF SONNETS

I'm 34. I'm not at all surprised that stores that were cool when I was in college are not relevant to the youths anymore. I hope this means they close their stores so we don't have to smell that awful cologne they spray around.

Am I the only one who gets a weird feeling that everything about Amber Heard is entirely manufactured, like a Maxim-based fembot? I'm not saying she's not bisexual, just that... She seems to come across as some sort of human "man's woman" checklist. Gun enthusiast? Check. Loves and owns muscle cars? Check (but can't…

Yeah, it's all going into college trust funds for the girls, which is the most sensible use I've ever heard from a reality star.

He has the little-kiddest face of all the little-kid faces.

Ben Affleck visited Lindsay in rehab to discuss a potential role for her in his upcoming movie Live By Night.

We can't stop drinking this moscato, but have some water too because you can't tolerate alcohol much anymore and you don't want a migraine.

"We can't stop...pairing this wine with some nice cheese (They sell it at Costco for $7.99/can I get a hell yeah)"

This song sounds more like my (over 30) version of a party: sitting outside with a glass of chardonnay: "We can't stoooooop... looking at this nice sunset and relaxing on the porch."

I wish she'd just go back to doing soulful country. Remember this? It's actually really good.

Permit me to take a moment & brag that I had Dionne's velvet schoolgirl dress and Cher's "55" t-shirt before the movie came out. And all the mean girls in my AP summer school class were totes jelly that my thigh highs never fell down. I'd be all, "I dunno! I'm just lucky, I guess," but the secret, which I never…

I'm not good at these, but they are usually taken care of pretty quickly so I don't feel bad going slightly off topic to say that Brittany Murphy is one of those celebrity deaths I still get actively sad about. I was such a fan of hers growing up (not just from Clueless, but other things she did as a kid), and I…