😂😂😂 the saltines.

You’re not interesting because you jerked off in front of women for decades. Why does that mean I have to listen to you? Why does that make you interesting. You didn’t get your career ruined by a vindictive creep. You spent 20 years harassing your colleagues and threatening them with retaliation and now I gotta…

this sums up the whole routine pretty effectively. this shit is as fresh and hip as Jeff Foxworthy with none of the aw-shucks charm.

Y’all making me feel old...

the bear has a name you know - juicebox.

Hell I’m salty too!  Salty they left us and haven’t debuted their show on Showtime yet!! LOL.  They need to hurry up! 

Oh no....

Isn't Kourtney Kardashian too "ethnic" for John Mayer's David Duke dick? 

Did someone forget?  Because I totally didn’t forget.

LOL... I was in the 5th grade when that song came out and all the kids in my neighborhood were singing that part of the song. But now I think he’s acutally saying “Come & get it”.

So they say it’s an urban legend and he did NOT say it, but is still sounds like it to me!
“In a 2000 interview with Vibe Magazine, Riley insisted that it wasn’t what Hall was saying, but rather “come on, babe”. To further support his claim, he played the master tapes and isolated Hall’s vocals to prove otherwise.^[10

Ladies and the gentlemen, the Pettysdent of the United States.

[reads title... can’t get song out of my head... can’t wait until January!]

...and blood at the roots.

She’s standing there trying to look thoughtful about Christmas decorations she had nothing to do with and could not give less of a quarter tenthfuck about, and she looks like she’s staring at her shiny new superlaser that’s going to crush Dagobah skjgdkjgkdjgs WHY IS EVERY WIFE IN THIS ADMINISTRATION SOME KIND OF…

“For it is thine right and thine privilege to ignore the voices of those blessed with melanin, to bask in your ignorance, and to call yourself the victim when called out for such. Commence with thine tears of righteous whiteness, for thou art the way and the light and the truth, as far as you know it.” - 1st Becky 7-8

youth and hazelnuts are wasted on the young, as they say.

So

Or with a Kanye.