To be fair, those two statements aren’t contradictory. The Browns should have drafted Manziel, because a shit team deserves a shit QB and therefore they got what they deserve when he tried to recreate the Cuyahoga River being on fire in human form...

Nope, because it doesn’t need to. The racist shit-heels in Bumshart, Nebrahomasas will continue to be racist shit-heels in the only NRA club in town. The shmucks whos gun range fees include a years’ membership to the NRA will continue to go to those gun ranges. And Colt and H&K and Browning and Barretta and Ingram et…

allowing other muscles to atrophy.

I’ll believe Andrew Luck is healthy when I see him play, and maybe not even then

Who wins a game of horse between Fultz and Luck?

The women who spoke to SI made it clear that the athletes were not part of the problem, with one former senior staffer saying “I had hundreds of interactions with players and never once had an issue…they always knew how to treat people. Then I’d go to the office and it was this zoo, this complete shitshow.”

Jeebus, don’t any of these guys know that isn’t how you’re supposed to behave in a workplace? You’re supposed to read Deadspin at your desk while quietly wondering what your life would have been like if you hadn’t gone to a party school.

It took all of two months for Under Armour to realize the type of person Ussery was and fire him. There’s no way in hell Cuban and Mavs top brass were clueless after working with the guy for over 15 years.

If only they’d gone the North Carolina route and made that benefit available to all students, not just athletes, they could have gotten off clean.

*Recruits look up and pay attention*

[insert hand clapping emoji between each word]

To add to the absurdity, Sam Darnold and Josh Rosen are both apparently 6'4" (biiiiiiig inch right there, huh?) and last year’s first rounders Mitch Trubisky, Pat Mahomes, and Deshaun Watson are 6'3", 6'2", and 6'2".

He definitely grabs his junk like a first rounder.

He also thought Jared Lorenzen had too chiseled a physique.

Yet he said Baker Mayfield, who is shorter, is a first round quarterback. Okay.

She french fries the entire way down. I watched three times just to be sure. Doesn’t pizza even once. This woman should be on a stamp.

Yo, what are you talking about? She makes it all the way up to the blue line five out of six times, doesn’t fall down, SKIS BACKWARDS, and doesn’t degrade herself or her country with showboating theatrics. Just good, clean skiing. Give this woman the Gold medal for efficiency and self respect.

Since the American team is, well, good, she initially competed for her mother’s native Venezuela, before switching her allegiance and representing Hungary...