And that's not to say that it's my primary response to a dispute. But when you've set forth the rule, stated your reasons, and the kid says he "doesn't care" and "that's not MY rule and YOU CAN'T MAKE ME follow it," sometimes the best response is to disengage by telling the child that you understand that he's upset,…

Have you ever negotiated with a 6 year old? Sometimes reminding them that they are not in charge and do not have equal power when it comes to making the rules is absolutely essential.

Yeah, I agree with you on that last point. It would surprise me if that is what Tracy is actually advocating for, given her other essays/ posts about parenting. But yes - treating a child as an "equal" in terms of ability to dictate things is a terrible, terrible idea. (As we say in our house, "this is not a…

I think the thing that gets some people's hackles up about the advice in the original article is that it suggests not letting the child have her preferred cup for the sole purpose of "showing her who is in charge." But I think most parents of small children know that we have hundreds of opportunities to show the…

You're doing it right. Potty training comes with a lot of complex issues involving control and bodily autonomy that makes it very hard for some kids. letting the child lead/ control the PT environment to a reasonable extent is a good way to let them feel in control of the process.

Yeah, this article is getting a lot of hate, but I don't see it as saying "always give in, even when it inconveniences you." If my kid wants a red cup instead of a blue one, and it's no trouble for me to give it to him, fine. If he wants to wear his train shirt instead of the truck one I got out of the drawer, fine.…

THANK YOU.

The article said that her friend who was a football player "chose not" to testify at the hearing despite being an eyewitness to one of the attacks. That made me think maybe he was not so awesome after all. :(

Yes, I totally agree. I just turned 40 this year and I definitely feel like I am starting to get invisible around the edges. I've been playing a little with it — just trying out being more friendly in public, like making pleasant small talk with wait staff and cashiers and store clerks, and making sure to smile at…

I have a friend who is studying this very issue! She's a post-doc at Brandeis. She studies body image in aging women. She's one of the first to address this issue, so you're right that no one (up to now) has really talked about it. http://home.isr.umich.edu/sampler/natali…

Except that we don't tell people who would rather call themselves "big-boned" or "zaftig" or "normal" or just not label themselves based on their size that they "should" be self-defining as "fat." I prefer to not define myself by age, or, if necessary, say I'm in my 40s, not call myself "middle aged." There's nothing…

Eh, I'll decide how I want to label myself, thanks. Are you next going to tell people they need to start calling themselves "old" at an age you determine is appropriate? if you want to call yourself middle aged, more power to you. Doesn't mean others have to go along.

I'm sure "young people" think I'm a lot of things, that doesn't mean I have to agree with them. Now get off my lawn!

Only if you only plan to live to 60! :) I hit 40 this year and still insist I'm not quite middle-aged yet.

I think it depends who you hang around with. I got a lot of mom-shaming with my first kid, when I lived in Brooklyn and made the mistake of joining a moms' group that was decidedly attachment-parenting based. (Nothing against AP in general even though it's not my thing, but this group happened to be extremely…

AMEN!

Damn it, Kinja, I said CANCEL. Sorry.

Their sizing has changed. I have shopped there since they first opened (I'm a Old) and though I only shop the sales now that it has gotten incredibly expensive, I still wear the same size I did ten years ago despite being much heavier after two pregnancies.

I've had moments of cognitive dissonance when they introduce a new clone and I actually find myself CHECKING THE CREDITS to see who is playing her.

Now I want to know what you DID learn in "life skills" class!