I will forever be #TeamTaylor but especially in this situation. I really don’t get the #TeamCalvin here.

Woman writes hit song. Declines to take credit for it until conspiracy theories/obvious logic leads fans/tabloids to the story. Confirms it in one very straightforward sentence because she feels no obligation to protect the fiction she and her ex-boyfriend spun about it. Deserves credit. Did write song.

Jesus, Calvin! Your contract with Taylor ended and she signed a new contract with a more famous celebrity. Time to move on.

ceiling fans + AC is the correct answer.

Good. The Universe is punishing you for your blasphemy.

Wait what. Now I'm scared of this weird sore throat I have right now that is kind of at the base of my throat. Oh god. I'm going to die.

Actually, let me correct you with some facts that I definitely did not make up or anything. The British people accent was originally sounded like what dinosaurs sound like when they talk but when the Tri-Lateral Commission took over the throne in 1816, they made a treaty with the Lizard People and all the British…

As a matter of fact, her father is a “former business colleague” of Edward Blum, the lawyer behind all of this.

I hadn’t seen this comment from Fisher before:

do you not recognize the difference between shooting yourself and being shot by someone else?

Women are five times more likely to be murdered if their abuser has a gun.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

oooh ok I may have to watch this. Catastrophe is hilarious.

It’s written by the super smart and hilarious Irish lass, Sharon Horgan (Catastrophe, Pulling), so deal me in!

He’s not an alderman. He is a US Congressional Representative - representing Chicago in the US House.

All I can think of is the ode to black men’s penis’. Damn you Titus Andromedan!!

What if I can’t order Pinot Noir without giggling?

like i care. i don’t wanna be a manager anyway. i need to have time to make babies. if i don’t have them by 32, it’s never gonna happen because my womb will basically have tumbleweeds rolling around in there. and no man will want me if i can’t have kids, so what do i need extra income for? if no man wants me, i don’t…

THE HOUR BETWEEN ME FINDING OUT ABOUT THIS AND IT BEING REPORTED ON JEZEBEL WAS THE HARDEST HOUR OF MY ENTIRE LIFE AND I AM SURPRISED I AM EVEN STILL ALIVE.