Yes! Etsy paid Jezebel $7,000,000 to write this post! And they threw in one of each item! Everything is secretly sponcon! Trust no one!

Beaty Thread, my favorite!!!

BEAUTY THREAD!

Did you make friends with a couple of twin girls who always spoke at the same time?

Preface: I rarely watch porn. Or, I should say, I rarely watched porn. Now I don’t do it at all.

Not me, exactly but the two women walking toward me in a sporting good store. That was the moment when the zipper on my sport bra gave up the game completely and unzipped so fast I could not even react. Both sides of this stupid bra pop out of the sides of my summer dress like weird ass wings and oh boy, did I wish I…

In local news:

I had a friend move in with me ostensibly because she decided not to buy a house that she was leasing with an option. When she moved out of my house (some 2+ years later) I found a letter from a real estate company saying that she had voided her house sitting arrangement by failing to keep the house in a showable…

There are two kinds of people in the world...

I think you mean porn stash. Although it would be equally disturbing if your brother had a porn stache:

I couldn’t figure out why a mustache was so upsetting... you mean porn stash! :)

If you live in Nebraska District 2 (basically Omaha metro) please encourage every decent person you know to register and vote. Some of FiveThirtyEight’s models show the whole thing coming down to Maine and Nebraska’s split electoral votes. In a year where GHW Bush is voting Clinton, it isn’t crazy to think that…

Stay sexy - don’t get murdered.

MFM? Are you a fellow murderino??

The point is that dudes want to take the opportunity to tell us how big their wieners are.

So...she wanted the relationship to be more Loki.

Favourite stuck-at-home activity: smoking joints and baking! I kinda suck at cooking, but love to bake. I haven’t tried anything complicated, but maybe it’s time to step up my baking game. I harbour fantasies about owning a weedy bakery once it becomes legal here, which it will... soon!

I’ve been working in a Starry Night cross stitch kit for MONTHS. and it’ll take another year. But the progress pics are fascinating to review, like watching it grow over time.

This may be my last regular SNS post, but if you find me on twitter you can get Emily on demand!

Since this might be the last SNS for me in a while, here is a throw back tribute to my baby, the scaredy cat Emily.

When I went to the shelter, I was there for an hour, visiting all kinds of rambunctious and affectionate…

BEAUTY THREAD!