i love stories about the old NFL. i might have to pick this one up.

i love the smell of my own farts too!!

he rocked so hard...NSFW, obviously.

He had a headache, and diarrhea.

a headache, and diarrhea.

“Your son was exposing himself on camera in Uno” is the new “Sir, this is a Wendy’s drive-thru” in my heart.

negative 50 points for writing about Lenny Kravitz and not shoehorn-ing in a reference to the time that his dick blasted out of his pants.

“holidays are coming, and not many of them will be with their families”...

i have it the opposite way - last name is a typical first name, but i get the email thing all the time, and you’re right - it’s SO infuriating. 

it’s right on the thumbnail. threw out his back trying to lift him up, i’m calling it.

was that Daulerio in there?!

sounds like he has a migraine, and diarrhea.

biscuits are slang for butt cheeks.

Is it terrible that i want him to go full Marshawn, and answer every postgame question with this, from now on?

the irony of this whole thing is that Ashley Feinberg used to write these kind of stories, and she doesn’t work for you anymore. HI POT. I’M KETTLE!

hey this wasn’t about wrestling what the hell

I think it’s probably the same target audience that the original one was for. I loved it when i was a kid. I think it sucks now, i was a kid! What did i know about the critical eye?! But i bet if i was still a kid, i would like it. Seems to hit all the same beats. I don’t understand what the big deal is.

unfathomably powerful farts is my new twitter name, if it will fit. thanks roth.

“Kate Upton Has Boobs” got a legitimate spit-take from me.