All the stars

Laugh to keep from crying: He told 911, “she’s trying to come at me bro”?!!!!

I support this

This was a fantastic piece.

A shot is 1.5 oz. DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE

Ever been with someone on hard-ass painkillers every day for 4 years, who won’t share because the script is so heavily regulated? Not fun.

Since at least 2008, speaking from experience. Chronic pain. (As in, we can’t fix your elbow.)

Also used as a heavy painkiller. I dated a girl who had a legitimate prescription for it for chronic elbow pain.

Damn, it’s been awhile. Such a great album.

This is a fantastic article, and you should feel good about yourself for having written it.

That’s enough internet for today. Important article, but man, im going to take 14 showers.

This is good Kinja

Take out.your diiiiiiiiicks

+1 crooked hat club

If they give a vanity link (/Simmons), chances are, the ad was free, and they get paid per redemption. If you wanna hear true paid podcast ads, listen to the GEICO spots on Jay Mohr’s Mohr Stories

This was obnoxious. I just threw all my Gillette products in the trash, and ordered Harry’s. And I used the Your Mom’s House promo code.

Pretty sure it was the woman-beating.

“A wearable fart” is so awesome. Great job.

+1 third eye

I’ve had variations of a lot of these, and most of them, I never realized were common. I am not a beautiful and unique snowflake.