I was watching some show on TV about the WWI Christmas Truce and (because there was like half a foot of snow on the ground the city shut-the-fuck-down) so it was two warmed tortillas and a smidgen of butter.

“Ooh, I’m a farmer that voted for King Trump and now I can’t put food on the table.”

Good Lord, how many cats are you sitting?

I had a panic attack in the shower and that was not fun and I’ve also experienced sleep paralysis which is terrifying. Neither have ever occurred again which is cold comfort but..

I cannot for the life of me remember where it was but there was some incident with an eagle that snatched a dog at a gas station. Her obvious distress is underlined by the unremitting joy of her husband behind her int he interview.

Yes, yes just make sure that “Sir David Attenborough” isn’t trending on Twitter because fucking hell.

Oh dahlin dahlin, you better develop a thick skin and quickly!

What do you do for dry skin? My mother’s like “use noxzema.” and I’m like okay? maybe?

Just seeing Megan Rapinoe’s joy for her teammates makes my day!

As horrific as Trump is he STILL hasn’t started a bullshit war. It’s not much but it’s something. Hopefully I can finish watching season two of Westworld before you kids get drafted.

I don’t know what that means but the excellent gif usage has convinced me that it is negative.

Anybody remember that scene from —

Good Christ, was he always that goofy? I guess he is/was the perfect fit for Less-Good-Deadwood-but-with-Robots.

If you live in Seattle and aren’t making a few hundred grand a year you are in trouble.

It appears that the F50 are issued to assholes. Give me one! I won’t mistreat it, the roads will do that! I won’t crash it! somebody else will come careening through a stop sigh and do that as well!

I hope you like the taste of jellyfish!

*Pfffft* I guess you’ve never swam in Green Lake. with a snorkel and then felt claws on your back so you stand up and scare the ever-loving shit out of a a playful dog!

“My father would have been drummed out of the service save for his papa and grand-pa-pa”

So my neighbor leaving one window shade open for her cats so they can study me and then lick their chops at all those juicy birds just out of their reach is normal.

Joe Biden worked with el tapatio, he’s a fine Senator.