Good!

Some relation to me just got over some religious inhibition and got to baby-making and now they named the kid something like island barbarossa to avoid nicknames; my mother said she’ll just call the kid Maui...

Payton voted most likely to marry said guy that doesn’t check his tire pressure before leaving c&c.

God I love you!

Nothing like naming your kid after an outdated Dodge model!

The problem with these wannabe natsees is that they’re just chumps and can’t even murder children properly.

add ninja and turtles and you’ve got a sale!

Before we eat you we will make sure your rotary electric Firewatch box is last into the fire.

I don’t know who you are but you could (and should) go on to make millions with that name!

As long as somebody surprises somebody else in a closet and then shoots them dead.

“New Space Coast Guard Cutter to be Built In Space”

I am surprised that it took this long.

Johnny Depp is accusing her of abuse, right?

There exists an intangible thing that just — ok yes he stonewalled her but she had the last laugh and now you hear about some person that should be working to (lower your rent) do things.

What about those of us that never played it and just hate that Seferoff-in-fire thing?

After the recent debacle with the NHL, baseball should go back to just home runs instead of did-his-foot-touch-the-bag style garbage.

“Just imagine waking up at three in the morning and that thing looking you in the face and saying ‘you’re family’s dead.’”

It’s how we raise funds for the military.

Oh please.

You do not want to know what qualifies as “decent assault.”