#dicksoutforvine

It must be heartbreaking, knowing that your father doesn’t really want to have sex with you.

That feels like an important issue now, because if the Cubs are going to win this World Series, they’ll either need to beat Kluber, or win every single game he doesn’t start. Both feel imposing.

Hey Russell, here’s an idea to avoid ties. Throw for a fucking touchdown.

“Hi! It looks like you’re trying to run an A-2 Gap Slant? Would you like help running an A-2 Gap Slant?”

Ophthalmologist: Something wrong?

Facial!

Guy hitting .205 in High-A ball is worried about the wrong Mendoza.

The Bills have never been to an NFC title game, so that’d be a first.

....he was constantly on the phone with his girlfriend, Lennay Kekua...

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

Somewhere Bill Belichick just became urgently aroused, and he doesn’t know why.

Going to watch this video a million times and just sort of softly cry for a bit. Too young.

Yes! By putting Edgar Martinez in!

What the hell man?!? What happened to the deadcast?

Yes, that would be shady but seeing how it’s Drew, you could give him all the data in the world and he’d still lose.

I feel no pity for this woman. Not once in the chat log was there anything alluding to rape, just the song. The rape portion of the song wasn’t even what they were joking about. The guy apologized MULTIPLE times, and yet she still felt the need to email Tim Cook (who by the way won’t read this petty crap anyways…

Well, the quality of audio with a good DAC is probably going to be better than what you would get in the iPhone 7, so it might make the music sound better anyway.