Why would she have tried to eat 2 lbs of yogurt?

I have a pretty adventurous palate. The first time I went to a whole foods they had aloe leaf in the produce section. I was skeptical - aloe is a medicine, it’s not a food. But why is it in the produce section if it’s not food? So I asked a clerk if you could eat it. He said you could. I took it home, scraped out the…

Brie is delicious. I would eat a whole wedge of that like pie. Maybe with some orange or quince marmalade. I’ve always been too timid to eat a whole wedge of brie like pie in public. Your brother didn’t make a mistake. He’s a fucking genius.

What porn are you watching where the guy has Hitler’s moustache?

It’s an intended consequence. If you were looking out for borrowers, rather than lenders and schools, you’d make loans dischargeable but provide some sort of federal insurance for the small percentage of borrows who would declare bankruptcy.

Exactly. We already know Ramsey is evil and sadistic. We know that Sansa is nearly powerless and in an extremely dangerous situation. We know that Theon is broken. Showing that scene conveyed exactly nothing. It changed nothing. The status quo before and after the rape scene is the same. It’s completely gratuitous.

I look forward to the government being able to restrict Gawker Media Group’s ability to support a candidate.

Or because they’ll make more money in endorsements by playing on a successful team after taking a paycut than they would otherwise.

And why isn’t it greed when Fox wants to pay less money? It’s business. Both sides are motivated by greed.

How much money does Fox have? Is it more than they need? Why shouldn’t Fox stop trying to make a profit and just give their voice actors more? Shearer doesn't owe you or fox a thing.

Have you literally never drank?

I’m just saying this because they’re my favorite writers there, but Shea Serrano, Bill Barnwell, and Rembert Browne should be in charge.

On the flipside, this is why people need to not make fake allergy requests.

What law did Gray break? Was the penalty for breaking that law in Maryland the death penalty? Was he sentenced to death following a trial?

Nothing you said has any relevance to whether it’s okay for cops to murder people.

Go fuck yourself.

What law did Gray break? Is the penalty for breaking that law in Maryland the death penalty?Was he sentenced to it?

The answers are, respectively, “none,” “no,” and “no,” you cop-fellating piece of shit. (You may think that’s a mixed metaphor. I think you’re literally a piece of a shit with lips).

You don't swim in waders. You wade in them, hence the name.

At this point, finding out that "Seemingly Important Book Character Z" doesn't actually matter shouldn't be a shock.

Generally, being an accessory before the fact (which requires more than knowing) means you can be charged with the same crime as the principal. Being an accessory after the fact is an independent crime. If you help someone commit a crime, you're guilty of that crime. If you help them after that crime, you're guilty of…

The cop has to more than not know. He has to reasonably believe that his life is in imminent danger, or that the suspect is armed, imminently dangerous to others, and committed a serious violent felony. Cops can't show people just because they don't know where they're going. The technical, legal term for that is…

I hope this was written by the kid from the NFL Play60 commercial.