They fail to capture what really made the original creepy. It sits in an uneasy uncanny valley. It has infant qualities but is just off enough to be unsettling without outright trying to be grotesque 

Kids these days probably don’t even know about the other Coast to Coast!

The presentation is what kinda sets it apart.

I really need to remember this....because you’re right.

I’d rather walk through a snowstorm than call and speak to someone on the phone

Yeah but if you’ve already walked all that way, you’re pretty much committed to being totally sure. Maybe you’re just the first customer!

I can honestly see this person being filmed by someone not in the security camera’s view for TikTok or Twitter clicks. Like they knew it was closed and had to act dramatic about it.

3 is a glorious fiasco while ASM is a bland, workmanlike rehash of a movie that came out only ten years before. The latter is probably a better movie, but if I were to pick a Spider-Man movie to watch on a whim I’d reach for 3 first.

NFTs, like crypto in general, is a solution desperately searching for a problem to solve. I have seen nothing about it that seems useful in any way. People are excited about it because it’s a shiny new technology and they think they might get rich off it (they won’t). The use cases are always either some vague notion…

Fun fact #10:

It’s always wise to remember that most actors are attractive dumb dumbs.

How am I going to get sick when I’ve just been tying these onions to my belt, which has been the style for some time now?

if the game actually was droll it would probably be easy to market

And she’ll be on Newsmax by Monday.

Also complaints about inclusion are more nuanced than “I don’t like being reminded this thing exists”
They really almost never are. 

Sure previous generations may have faced extreme bigotry and discrimination but don’t they know how hard it is to go out and vote. Like I have to get on the bus and that’s so not trendworthy! #thatmillenialsuffering

You know it’s the darkest timeline when the least interesting and talented person from the Newsradio cast ends up the most ‘’successful’’.

Yes. I automatically freak out whenever I see IRS letters in my USPS Informed Delivery Digest every morning, especially since it was closer to tax season than it was to when I actually got my stimulus a while ago.

Arranging books by colour is book arranging for people who do not read!

No grown adult should care about “gamer cred.”