Cap on the lam!

The rocky, snow-capped Appalachians of Cold Mountain. I guess that's what makes them cold, come to think of it.

See, also, Lord of the Flies. Very informative re: fly crook catching.

Take off. I take the noomber seven train to Queens like a real resident, eh?

Look, an award for Initial Quality is a bullshit award.

This piece really needed an editor.

Oh, the Humanities!!

How disturbing. How are today's children supposed to know where the beef is?

George R.R. Martin nods approvingly before clicking back to a New York Jets message board.

"A whimsical romp through an optimistic future" - Mike Pence, probably.

E.T. freaked me *the hell out* as a child. The scene where the government people in the suits are strolling down the street and the scene where E.T. is lying in the ditch still stand out to the nearly 40 year old me as really memorably creepy.

Dude, I have so many units of sex. Like, all the time.

Look, even He-man deserves to be comfortable.

Right up there with Dinosaur Train, another example of cramming kids' favorite things together in a random fashion.

Sure, but who is there to inhale it?

Not such a bad thing that the buildings are dilapidated. It's not like they need to fix them up for people to live there. It's a nature preserve. Seems like nature is taking it back little by little.

It's theme parks all the way down.

On a scale of 1-10, how annoyed do you suppose Disney is that James Cameron seems to be taking a million years to make this Avatar sequel?

More like Josh Oh My Gad Will He Please Shut Up, amirite?

Totally agree about "Africa". It was particularly weird in that this is a world in which Greenland is apparently a real nation with culture and a sexy Prime Minister and whatnot.