Today, my camp issued a statement:

bye sweaty bastard

Wellgoddamn, my ex-husband didn’t either.

Speedway is hiring

Hilary: you are not grabbing my coochie, motherfucker.

Because she would be great company?

I bring this up every year but, factory of sadness

Hell yes

Fuck Arnold.

Pussy wagon

does not redeem kasich (Ohioan)

more like a flaming hot cheeto fart from the ass of Cerberus

When the whipporwill,

My friend’s roommate masturbated constantly. He walked in him so much that he started a tally. Once he got to a hundred we had a pizza party. The roommate didn’t know we were having a party in his honor, but it was a triumph nonetheless.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Qe5oD5aXjEbKw

I have a degree in mathematical sciences, and I approve this message

Love jada. Her face gets tighter every year

Dress his ass down for disrespect or own that shit. Or both.be the bitch

Did he cry?

Screw you, and what’s a fucking bobcat?