White men CAN jump!

Weed is not dangerous, it makes you lazy kinda like a big greasy burger does. There are more overdoses from painkillers than all other drugs combined.

MJ gets you kicked out of the league but the NFL has no problem pumping players full of potentially deadly pain killers.

Mat

Pretty sure it's G!R!

I thought Athena pussy cat. I did! I did!

Ronnie Pastrami

If everyone mispronounces your name but you, are they really mispronouncing it or are you?

He's getting a pass because he’s black.

The Chicago White Caucs

He's a racist!

The runner magically forced him to air-mail the throw

love tap

He’s mad off Bernie

Think you're a bit confused.....

I’ve found the easiest way, by far, is to not worry about it. I haven’t wiped my ass since the summer of ‘94. The mud used to bother me but now it’s pretty much always just crusty and flakes off in layers here and there.

water level is an important variable

Having male genitalia definitely makes sit down wiping more of a challenge and I’ve always assumed this quagmire was weighed heavily by those considering a gender transition. It would make my shit cleanup a lot neater and less exhaustive if I could reach down without hittin’ the ole speed-bag on the way through.

I was surprised too

It's even worse in the NFL. Teams literally have local police on payroll. WTF?