“Deez Nuts haven’t had much exposure to the American public”

Then make high school PE fun for everyone! Being tall and gangly and four-eyed, I did not make the best athelete. The other kids let me know it, the teachers let me know it. “Go stand out in left field. No, waaaay the fuck out. And stay there until the bell rings”. I was 30 before I realized that sports was actually…

it’s lunch time, cassie, for god’s sake

Now THAT I would watch! I’d watch the shit out of it!

Why? Why must Americans be subjected to this shit for over an entire year? Why is the process so long, and why are Republicans so very, very stupid? Who decides that this shit is good for your image? It’s like Michele Bachmann eating corn dogs at every single county fair in the nation (disclaimer: I LOVE corn dogs).…

For all the hate it gets, Whole Foods is really not that bad in many respects. It’s a great place to work, the staff seems to be paid well and are always really cheerful, and where else is someone with full sleeve tattoos and facial piercings going to work besides a coffee shop (I mean, in another city than SF - us…

Really? Is it a full body wince, a subtle shudder, or just a grimace-type wince?

3 people and a potato

Viagra lowers your blood pressure (that’s why you shouldn’t use poppers with it - the more you know). Can low blood pressure lead to a stroke? Or was it the vigorous exercise of the act itself? “Ask your doctor if you’re healthy enough for sex”.

I love how he acts like he knows all the answers. You’re reading them off a card Trebek!

It would definitely be a case of “shhh, don’t speak” though

#safarichic. I have never had an opinion about Hudgens, but can now safely say that I hate her.

because Jesus, that’s why

The Holy Spirit wants to get all up in teenager’s junk? WTF, Holy Spirit! That’s not cool.

9 abortions and the tenth one’s free

As Sister Joan Chittister said “You’re not pro-life, you’re pro-birth” There’s a (big) difference.

like a nightmare sculpted in dough

fuck you. that’s NOT what Horton meant.

So sad. I have just forgiven Gwen for having Bounty Killer on Hey Baby, and now this?

If there was one word I would expect Floridians to get right.