Wait, so this isn’t Dak’s signature?

A very expensive fidget spinner.

Does that mean he’s not coming on then?

I think you meant “see you at the Crosstour”

Simply wearing that suit and a Fitbit is enough to be fired in my CEO book.

Now this is mission impossible.

I thought that picture was just the result of a hilarious incidental cropping oversight.

Ghost bears are proven to be THE most dangerous of the species.

Nice write up, I’m looking forward to an article about the mitsu 4g63 now.

You expect me to settle for a common engine like a V-8? What, do you want me to be mistaken for a poor?

Ford GT. Not based on any real performance factors but they all still have one thing in common: 

I have many thoughts about this, and one of them is that once a week of John Oliver is just not quite enough.

I feel like when the WRX finally showed up in America it put an end to all those other jokers. It had them completely outclassed in performance for the same price.

Never heard of them, and it sounds like I didn’t miss out on anything. Goodbye, whoever you were.

Based on what everyone else drives, she must be the highest paid person at Jalopnik if she can buy a 20k car.

They’re basically food trucks waiting for the next music festival to begin.

“What advantages does this war have over, say, an ethnic cleansing, which I could also afford?”

I know this was mostly a rhetorical observation but I’m guessing that those awnings are more for the sun than anything else. For wet-weather racing, raincoats and ponchos are order of the day. Anyone who brings a goddamn umbrella though is gonna get it fed to them.