Yeah. I guess the day will come when the Patriots are shit and I’ll still hate them forever.

As someone who lived through the 80s, and was not a 49ers fan then I will pretty much hate them forever, win four in a decade and people who remember that decade will tend to hate for all time.

Fat Guy touchdowns are the best touchdowns. This is a fact.

Fuck you, you’re getting a fucking penalty.

Where’s the article about the most important part of the game? Gronk was held catchless to finish the season with 69 receptions.

I am more put off by the Fran “Tarkington” reference.

Wilshere has two, TWO, career red cards. Yet you try to make him sound like some kind of maniac. Honestly don’t know how soccer got stuck with you writing about it.

well let’s hope it’s enough to hold off Burnley for a Europa League place

It will not last. Those ankles are weaker than Billy’s knees when he watches Barça.

I feel like this article chooses not to address the issue of why, exactly, Billy considers Lingard to be a “limited” player in the first place? It deeply upsets me to defend anything related to Manchester United, but...what if Lingard is maybe/actually good, only he hasn’t yet had the chance to display his talent…

Jesse Lingard is a type of player that Fergie’s teams always had. For every Cristiano Ronaldo or Eric Cantona, there was a Park Ji-Sung or John O’Shea. Yes, relying on Jesse Lingard isn’t ideal, but I think Billy is selling him short.

Or, is it possible that Jesse Lingard is actually a better player than Billy thinks he is?

I see you’re reading your first Billy Haisley article. They get so much worse than this.

“He is incredibly smart, hardworking, almost perfect when it comes to executing his tactical role, versatile, a savvy mover, a nifty finisher in and around the box, great at link-up play.”

Okay, I get that the Deadspin schtick with soccer is to go overboard with the hyperbole (“absolutely nuclear golazo!”), but even…

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that if before conference play starts a team has a 71% chance to have the best conference record in a 10-team league, they’re also going to be a rather strong favorite in the conference tournament. But thanks for the pedantry.

There’s no “we” here. People on the team don’t buy their jersey at Dick’s sporting goods. CTE and cirrhosis aren’t the same thing. You are not part of the “we” that is the Patriots.

When I allow some bullshit con artist to create a fictitious product line in my name to cover up my massive PED usage, then my intelligence or lack thereof will be relevant.

I really, really appreciate that. I am a longtime Jalopnik reader, so it was a thrill to just get the green light on one article. That I’ve written four this year is even more an honor, and that any Jalopnik reader appreciates it is more than I can say. I’m working hard to do even more in ‘18!