Big deal. There wasn’t even a wrecked Volkswagen in his way.

Guy’s been getting stymied his whole career!

The heartwarming Hobbit trilogy reunion:

Great insight

This fight was barely even long enough to masturbate to. 4/10.

Throwing on the one yard line instead of running it for starters

Wow what a dunk!

YEAH! AND FUCK JEZEBEL AND MEGAN REYNOLDS FOR COVERING IT.

You are a decent man and you try hard, which is why your end zone proposal is balls. What you do is take ONE end zone and make it EIGHT INCHES deeper. Call it the Bonus Zone and say you are doing it to make the Coin Toss more important (try not to snicker when you do this.) You will instantly hear crazy shit like,…

Gotta love the attempt at a gotcha devolving to “whatever they all suck anyway.”

I think he looks like Hank Hill’s dad, Cotton.

did all the good commenters die

Burfict is unlikely to learn anything unless the NFL hits him with a fine, and then, immediately and without warning, justification, or explanation, hits him with a much bigger one.

He didn’t attend his grandfather’s funeral—the same grandfather he once called before every game.

It’s not that he doesn’t love football now. He just chose to play later rather than sooner.

No surprise here, we’re not talking about Charles Stayer

Shit, he’s gonna have a breakout year and then show up to training camp next summer with a top knot, isn’t he?

She was probably just trying to make TE.

Looks like Gisele’s investment in obedience school is starting to pay off.