Thanks for letting me know dude!

That takes some serious courage, to admit being an umpire.

He will pump fake your ass off his lawn.

I love how everyone is reporting on this like the act of pardon fake turkeys is more ridiculous than the act of PARDONING A FUCKING TURKEY AT ALL.

I think this sums all these tweets up:

At least since she has a glass of wine, she has to be over 21, right?

careful... This might break the internet.

Obviously...

Why isn't Tavarish driving one of these, or telling us to buy one instead of a 6-year old Hyundai Elantra? I demand answers!

Like when my dumb dog doesn't go to the stairs in the pool to get out but tries to climb up a side on the deep end, then he just sits there.. ass in the water, front legs on the concrete, wondering how the hell all this happened to begin with.. it was that damn yellow ball wasn't it.

In 24 years she couldn't learn how to operate a ridiculously light clutch? Sy, what are you still doing with such a loser?

I look forward to the Sixers having to play an entire game with a Fatal Windows error projected onto the floor.

This is awesome.

Love your articles, Tyler. Thanks!

I was going to title it - Why Buy A Caribbean Island When Get This 20 Year-Old Sub-Compact Instead?

You guys have a reliable starting quarterback? Be a lot cooler if you did....

Um, Ms. Yousafzai, President Obama has had his own Peace Prize for a good 6 years now, he doesn't need you to tell him how to world peace, thanks.

Updated title suggestion: