Jesus Christ! When does this become an epidemic? There seems to be a lot of stories about teenagers sodomizing fellow teenagers.

This is actually the truth. I watch every minute of every Arsenal game (I am a tortured fan) and while he is the best Arsenal player on the pitch, he does have some similarities to Carmelo. Alexis has an incredible work rate, the dude has a motor that won’t quit. He does hold on to possession too long, tries to make…

Dammit... Hit shuffle on the playlist an”Burn” is first up! Just got out of a 5+ year relationship!

Fittingly, she has a Fairuza Balk from American History X vibe.

They should try to pry Kaepernick from the niners to replace Smith.

Well that is obvious! You are the one who seems to cover auto sports on the site.

I am sad it’s getting passed over by so many people. It’s kind of the best call of duty (I know it’s not cod but was developed by former cod people) game I’ve played in a handful of years.

I hate it when I come to Deadspin hoping to see a Haisley posted soccer gif, or a Jamboroo and wind up spending 30 minutes reading a well-written, longform article that causes introspection.

Right? My friend is a Spurs fan and I am a Gooner..

Was 2-0 and 3-1.. he was trying to say they cut the deficit to one, two times

Did he bring up the gunshow poophole?

That’s a giants move, a couple guys in prime (panik, Crawford, belt, posey) and old vets... need outfield to get younger. Smith will replace Lopez, law will replace casilla... need young bullpen arms STAT

I was being facetious

Let’s remember some planes..

They signed Bumgarner before 2014 season to a 7 year CHEAP contract. As a giants fan, I am hoping they offer him a 5-6 year deal with a decent increase, I mean, they have him for 5 years regardless. Show a nice gesture and renegotiate an increase.

Can we just get all the jokes about Derrick Rose’s shooting out of the way?

True, I just use my thumb.

Rocket McFadden is obviously Magary... The “wit” has all the dulcet tones of a dick joke jambaroo.

Sure looks like we didn’t stand up to the competition, Torts.