As far as interesting and subtle goes, it doesn't actually get any better than Kreia no matter what genre or medium you're looking at. Don't let it ruin things for you though.

I believe the term you're looking for is "headcanon".

To be fair to that movie's version of Superman, he was raised by a pair of sociopaths who straight up told him he should have let a bus full of kids drown rather than reveal his powers.

Laser eyes guy = Deathbolt, right? I just figured that they're eventually going to find out he's from Earth-2 also.

If Firestorm counts as a metahuman than so does Slade Wilson. Firestorm's powers may have technically been triggered by the particle accelerator explosion, but had Professor Stein not been standing right outside holding his F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M. device, there wouldn't have been a Firestorm and Ronnie would simply be dead.

Yeah, technically it would. That's not how Cisco sees it though. His first manifestation of his power was dreaming of his murder at the hands of Wells over and over and over again. That's bound to taint his feelings about his powers.

I love how everyone rags on Superman for that neck snapping incident as though that's somehow worse than all the unforced errors he committed during the fight leading up to that resulting in demolished buildings and god only knows how many innocent deaths. It's one thing to be knocked through an inhabited building by…

52 shades of Wells?

And thus far the only applications of his power that he has access to involve witnessing horrible events.

It's more that his powers were directly triggered by Wells murdering him in the alternate timeline. Everyone else's metahuman powers manifested almost immediately after the particle accelerator exploded. Cisco's stayed dormant until Wells woke them up. There's a difference, and it's understandable that Cisco would be…

Firestorm only got his powers thanks to Wells in the sense that all metahumans got their powers thanks to Wells. Cisco's powers were actually directly triggered by Wells killing him in the alternate timeline, I think that's the distinction that he's concerned about.

Considering that the only application of his powers that he can access at the moment is essentially forcing himself to live a terrifying nightmare, it isn't that unusual that he would want to keep it to himself so that no one can ever pressure him into using it. If I had an ability that could be used to help people…

I AM THE ONE WHO ZOOMS

Big Rape: A Legitimate Business

I remember that. The Republicans whined a lot to the media about how mean old Mr. Franken forced them to go on the record voting against punishing gang rape. That's just unsporting, you see.

Really? I read the book when it came out in hardcover, and it was pretty clearly written as a joke. It was a clear callback to earlier where he described how Matt Drudge blatantly lied about Franken running out of the White House Correspondents Dinner and bowling him (Drudge) over in the process. The passage about…

That was amazing, yes. Especially because of the context. Lowry had just said that Democrats were responsible for the sissification of politics. Franken said that if he's going to say that about Democrats, he should be willing to fight one to prove it. Lowry declined.

Jeb Bush 2016: Because bad things happen in threes.

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a United States Senator.

If there is a more punchable face in the United States than Ted Cruz I haven't seen it yet.