Your take is correct, but a large part of that is because...

Tonight’s guest on “How to tell someone is not from New York”

I mean, no offense, but if I see a 9-minute *porn* clip I’m like “nah, too long.” Nine minutes of pizza-eating-and-ranking video is about 8:57 too long.

Careful...You will summon the Kluwe.

Jesus, McAdoo’s really gone off the deep end.

Earlier this year, climber Brian Koralewski was working on a V6 problem in Little Rock Canyon, Utah, near Provo.

what a bunch of suckers, having to come in and work during the DAY, unlike the smart and talented NIGHT BLOGGER who has hours to relax and recover...

Are you the Designated Survivor while the rest of the Deadspin staff is at the award ceremony?

If you put $5,000 into a humor detector on January 1, 2017, then you’d be able to comprehend the meaning behind my comment today. Have fun with that knowledge.

well he sure as hell cant go on the defensive amirite

It physically pains me to admit this, but the idea of Tennessee hiring Greg Schiano was so stupid that Clay Travis got it vigorously right:

Alabama got a bit confused on the 3/5’s compromise...

I thought the last 10 months would have been sufficient warning about the dangers of replacing a competent black man with an inexperienced and unqualified white guy, but here we are again.

Jameis Winston?! The lovable, charismatic leader has been accused of sexual misconduct?! catch me, I’m going to faint!

The Celtics were everywhere.

Wow. Both people in omak saw it!

That is fucking absolutely savage. I’m actually pretty amazed that they ran this. With that kind of thing, I mean, you must have medical staff waiting in the wings in case there’s a heart attack or something. Someone could die, of disappointment or even humiliation. What are the odds? I mean, imagine going all that…

That’s horrible.

Owned.

No. Man, you know the answer is always and forever going to be no. Stop fucking asking, you are never allowed to use that fucking word.