In fact, I laugh at them the whole time I'm cleaning their pools.

Yes, but shhhhhh.....don't rock the boat - we've got it great.

Goodell lies, no suspension.

Great investigative reporting. He's got to be the hardest worker writer at Deadspin.

It is an important omission that significantly changes the context. It was an exchange of platitudes that both sides knew was probably bullshit, not some nefarious bribe-for-silence.

To honor them.

FWIW, Luntz does this all the time:

To inject a little reality in this, my next door neighbor's son, a dumb college student, was charged with a felony in Virginia for using a fake ID to get into a bar. Some jurisdictions charge you with pretty crazy crimes created by statute post 9-11 that have severe penalties. Cost him several grand, and semester…

Redskins honor Native Americans by having none on the team.

Booty call, then wife dials him looking for him (reports say his wife called him three times) he rushes home.

Keep in mind these are a power suck - it's like keeping your charger plugged in 24/7/365. Of course, most of us do that anyway...

Keep in mind these are a power suck - it's like keeping your charger plugged in 24/7/365. Of course, most of us do…

Are you this much fun at parties?

No man who has ever enjoyed a nice pair of implants on a woman should ever criticize another man's choice to get plugs.

Voted Most Likely To Be Unempathetic

Goodell's testimony will still be under oath. He's either going to perjure himself, or admit he lied publicly regarding knowledge of the inside the elevator videotape.

This is a rhetorical question, right?

This is a rhetorical question, right?

This is a rhetorical question, right?

This is a rhetorical question, right?

Smoke weed; four game suspension. Deliberately break the skin, in multiple, consecutive lacerations, with bruising: one game.