Just before first pitch one of my Dodgers fan buddies texted “Cole will look great in Dodger blue next season.”

Just doing some back of the napkin math, 10 1/4 lb patties, plus the cheese and bun, etc. probably comes to about 3 lbs. The kid looks to be about 150 lbs or so. After he was done eating, he was comprised of 2 percent Whataburger. Impressive.

You’re obviously an evangelical Christian because you think we give a shit about your religion.

Brady’s case is exacerbated by the fact that he got genuinely fucked over by the NFL for deflating footballs.

This seems...unlikely. 

It’ll be the clean one. Dude clearly doesn't waste a drop.

“It takes you back to being a kid: You’re out there, you’re sloshing around and your shoes are full of water and mud,” Richard Sherman said. “It’s still a kid’s game at the end of the day.”

This is where you and I differ. I’m really only interested in food writing that involves vagina egg boiling and/or sex with dead people.

Whenever British people say they don’t tip, I tell them that, “We really don’t need any more of you boorish Brits coming over here and refusing to abide by our culture. If you can’t respect another country’s customs, then maybe international travel isn’t for you.”

cool. shut the fuck up forever.

As if a creepy tightwad like you could ever get anyone to have sex with.

FYI if it makes your next Starbucks experience a little calmer, “Venti” is the Italian word for “twenty”, and the Starbucks Venti (hot) is 20 oz. So, it’s not a word they made up, it’s just a fancy way of describing the actual size of the drink.

You definitely get it.

That’s the whole fucking point. To shame the type of person who would fat shame.

Alternate headlines,

A lot of people in these comments seem really proud to let us all know how cheap/big of an asshole they are. Weird flex, but okay...

Tip creep is definitely a thing. Just ask my wife.

Fucking over your server isn’t exactly putting the screws to the man, man. And you’re definitely fucking over your server when you don’t tip. 

Yes, you are. If you do not wish to do so, stop using services that have tipping. Otherwise, as I always say, work on a solution but in the meantime you still gotta tip, bitch.

Fuck these losers. I generally don’t go to coffee shops, and when I do I usually just get a black coffee. Even still, as long as the card reader gives the option to tip, I put an extra dollar on there.