Just watched the embedded video... There's a guy front and center who is drumming on toilet seat/cover which is draped around his neck... If this isn't what college is supposed to be about, what purpose is it serving?

California rolls are a waste of everyone’s time. Fucking fake crab meat and cucumber? Get that midwest horseshit out of here and at least order a fucking tuna roll.

I assume these will be better for my baby than breast milk?

1. Reese’s (Good regular, great cold)

Pieces are a very slow seller at my store.  I am always on the point of discontinuing carrying them.  

The DENNIS System is equally hilarious, messed up, and definitely could have gone bad in the wrong hands.

The dark chocolate Milky Way is one of humankind’s greatest accomplishments, and while its not-as-good cousin the regular Milky Way pales in comparison, it’s still better than garbage-ass regular M&Ms, which are objectively the worst candy in the image. I would kick out M&Ms without a second thought.

I think The Implication scene from The Gang Buys a Boat demonstrates how you can make a joke about practically anything. But the trick is in how you frame the joke.

No way. Dee in the bathroom as an ostrich!

I think I also wanted to be option number one just because the press conference where Brady announced his retirement as a player would somehow manage to become even more insane and have so many twists.

This is the next dumbest white shit I ever heard, and this is learning about the shooting explosive barrels for a gender reveal by border patrol morons and starting a wildfire.

over half of those are kettle chips so they should be automatically disqualified.

Isn’t that just a Philly cheesesteak with fries in it?

That comment decrying how “everyone has a voice now” is very telling to me. Yeah, it’s a real shame that those who have, historically, been subject to abuse and assault now have some modicum of power to be heard (even if action and/or justice rarely follows). 

This line from Brady says it all.

But that’s just what Bill does, though.

““It’s so easy for us to blame and shame because everyone has a voice now,””

Imagine framing “everyone has a voice now” as a negative. 

The league uses penalties to draw fines, the teams use fines to void bonuses and guarantees. Ahhh, good times.

I feel for you, man. It is always hard to lose a pet, and even harder when that pet was close to you. Looks like your cat was also a tortie, like my cat Splotchy,

Chipotle’s new carne asada (bests) its steak by a mile