“If your hair is course”

“If your hair is course”

The best way to get rid of pills you don’t want anymore is to put them in an envelope and send them to me so i can feel stronger, even better, than i am now 

Aloha shirt. Sad.

Aloha shirt. Sad.

Yep. I needed a mouth guard so bad that the dentist totally didn’t mention it at all the next time I went in and no other subsequent dentist has ever brought it up. Looking back this seems to have been around the time he was suing the dentist he bought the practice from (with money he borrowed from his wife’s…

You ever eat a hamburger?

Any day now Saint Elon will flip the switch and my Tesla will be a totally automatic robot taxi earning $ for me while I’m at work.

 Good News is better. 

There are way less hatchlings now, but it still has its problems. 

useless piece of foreskin

Lebron said he was activating playoff mode, but he failed to mention he was activating J.R. Smith playoff mode. 

I only drink the finest Cambodian breast milk, personally. 

If In-N-Out has a case then CaliBurger has a stronger one. The palm trees are in their logo.

What? Who do you think the enemies are in the first movie? 

T-bones and Cadillac’s, the oldest fucking myth in the book. 

You are every bit the piece of garbage you think you are and probably worse. What you do with that knowledge is up to you...

Everything is terrible.

If you want your yolk to be a more yellow feed your chicken more corn.

My wife and I eat keto and we smell amazing all the time, my bloodwork is so good the doctors thought I cheated, and my penis grew an inch longer. 

What about the chemicals in the plastic leaching into the water?

Because you are attracted to them?