No keep them out actually. They’ll keep her away, just like garlic.

I love Cole Escola so much that it physically hurts.

Really? I learned some valuable lessons there; mostly that when you kick and punch customers, it should all be in the mind.

I’m filling your thermos with bread, one sec.

Because he’s too busy removing the red crunchyness, duh.

Recently I was in a store and a little boy was blocking an aisle. His mother told him to move out of the way because he wasn’t the only person in the world. Mother of the Year!

I had people specifically ask for temperatures hotter than our hottest setting (I think it was 212), and I would have to talk them out of it. I often would get an earful about how other places would do it, and my usual response is that they were probably just saying yes and not telling you the truth.

Two things that need to branded into the souls of every human being before they’re allowed out on their own.

I have to say, BCO has spurred two important changes in the way I act in restaurants.

“Was that so hard?!”

I can’t remember his whole spiel, because my brain was filled with the enraged screams of my primal warrior ancestors and I was battling to keep a pleasant expression on my face.

Why is Chloe always out late at night? Being Jessica Jones.

thank you for reminding me that I am privileged enough to live in a time when Daniel Dae Kim exists!

I’m a gay man and I would totally switch for her! She is sexy as all hell.

I mean...

She was super fun on Broad City. Hilarious episode.

Cool sexy lost boy vampires though

I was so sick of lady gaga and her shit for a while but now that she’s been under the radar kind of I realized I really miss her antics.

Just watched the video, I love this so much. The flash of nipple from the one girl is so perfect and sexy. And the sequins. And the dancing. And the set. Some of the models are not the best dancers but its ok. It all looks so fun! If only this is what going to the club was actually like...

they look like vampires