Seems like every time I get a Costco pizza they set the record player on 78 or 45 rpm.

...having worked in a pizza place before, the existence of the ladle in no way guarantee’s an identical amount of sauce on a pie. Quite the opposite.

I found it impossible to understand this book until I read it aloud.

I am a vice principal at a middle school and there were large groups of kids doing this at lunch today. Does it make me lazy/unprofessional/whatever for not giving two shits that they are doing this during their free time? The yard duties were going ape shit bringing every single kid with two pencils down to the…

You really are “that guy.”

Also the hidden cost of fishing the East river, the multitudes of poor dead gangsters that will be deprived of their sleeping partners.

Have you never seen the clip Slow Jerking by Whitest Kids U Know?

Having a rapist’s baby is NOT the same as wanting to impregnate someone with the baby after the abuse is done. But, sure, try to equate the two.

I have two: One happened to me and was horrifying, one happened to a friend and is hilarious.

Oooh, ooh, I got this. I was a big Oasis fan back in the ‘90s, so when the band came to Melbourne my friend and I decided to go to their hotel. My friend found out they were staying at the Hilton, and they rocked up in their van to a small crowd of fans waiting to say hello. The band was quickly ushered into the foyer…

They’re supporting Israel in the hopes of bringing on Armageddon. Jews dying is just lagniappe.

Forced-Birthright.

Oh man, you sure showed me.

It sounds like you maybe have a complaint with feminism, rather than the story itself? Pete is described as a childhood friend. I’m not sure what you’re trying to do with “cis gendered pan sexual leaning a sexual gender queer” thing except make fun of trans people, and I’m not okay with that. Good friends of mine are…

I know you don’t.

If I were Sofia I would eat those fucking embryos on toast like they were fucking caviar.

Am I the only one who expected him to add “and 9/11 changed everything.” after he mentioned the mirror was installed in 2001? I mean its not any crazier than what he actually said.

If so, she’s wearing it better than the virgins.

I discovered something truly beautiful while I was searching for the above gifs :